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3 Bumps

Do you ever use the "I'm a single parent" excuse?

For example
mom 1: Do you let your kids know about your personal issues, like weight, drama, etc?
mom 2: Well I'm a single parent so yes I do....

I saw this(above) type of response on CM

Or this is my moms favorite...
I say: We are trying to not have to use daycare because it's a lot of money and we can balance our schedules so one of us is always home.
My mom: Well I was a single parent so you had to be in day care.

Or this one is common amongst the moms groups I have been to

mom 1: I buy organic as much as I can, at least for my LO.
mom 2: Well, I'm a single parent so I can't afford organic foods.

Not trying to make fun of single parents, it's a whole other challenge when parenting, but I hear it being used as a reason for matters totally unrelated to status in "parentage" the organic foods example

why not just say: I dont have the money, or LO's dad doesn't help


Asked by DomoniqueWS at 8:32 PM on Sep. 27, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 25 (23,109 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • I am a single mother, just recently seperated from husband in April & because of the fact that I am raising both of my children alone it is harder because there father has chosen not to help at this point & I am waiting for child support to go through so no I dont have the money to do what I would like to do sometimes and in that aspect sometimes I will say I am a single mother of 2 and just don't have the money because if I just say I dont have the money it turns into well what about there dad, so its just easier to state that I am a single parent. But the aspect of personal details of my life I do not tell my kids personal details other than the fact they know mommy is dating someone new & its long distance right now so they have not met him, but other than that they dont know anything personal only things that involve them.

    Answer by mama2005 at 9:31 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • yup i have...but i dont necissarily use it as an excuse..but sometimes its just easier to say that rather that to explain every lil detail..but if it came to a question like your example on buying organic food..i would just say nope, dont have the money too!!

    Answer by alexis_06 at 8:43 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • I think it's a pride thing no bad pride. It's tough and they are doing the best they can and it has become a status to be the Single aren't who has her S**T together. There are so many who don't. OR it's so other issues won't be brought up. I don't have money for this , this is why don't ask about anything else... OR It's just a fact, you didn't know so I'm telling you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:50 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • I start many sentences like that, it's not an excuse for me, it is a reason for the way some things are in my life. I'm not embarrassed by it all. I'm proud to be a single mom. It has given me more self-confidence than anything else in my life because it is my single greatest accomplishment. I am raising a well-mannered, very lovable 6yo boy with very little help from the paternal side. I am a single mom with a full-time job and my own business, who is also president of the PTO and Cub Scout Den Leader. Most married parents don't accomplish as much as I do with my son. SO, I say it with PRIDE, I am a SINGLE MOM!!!

    Answer by travzmom at 11:01 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • No I don't. Even if I was single I would not use that excuse because their father will always be there.

    Answer by itsallabtthem84 at 8:34 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • I'm a single parent, and I've never started a sentence like you're describing. Don't necessarily agree with it being called an excuse, though. For some people, that's the reason and its just easier to explain the why behind their actions or inactions.

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 8:35 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • No.

    But what you have described are legitimate instances where being a single parent presents challenges that a 2 parent household does not necessarily experience. Unfortunately people are nosy, and explaining the "why" upfront usually heads them off at the pass... All but involving children in ones personal matters. Being a single parent is never a reason to disclose personal info to a child.

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 8:46 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • I didnt know that was an excuse for anything

    Answer by LiLJeni at 7:33 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • how is that an excuse for that sort of thing?

    Answer by lasombrs at 12:24 AM on Oct. 7, 2010