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2 Bumps

Is it just me, or is this a shady situation?

I met a guy a few months ago, we got to know each other and near the beginning of us getting to know each other, he made the comment that he "hadn't informed the military of his divorce". I took that comment as "I was married before but I am currently divorced". Well I recently found out he and his wife have been seperated, but are still legally married. So my main annoyance with the situation is that he wasn't straight up honest about it. I confronted him about it and just thought it was lame that he didn't just say that. I got over that and just decided we'll see how things go. He says he will legally be divorced as soon as the divorce papers get signed, (a few months as he predicts). He said he has legal seperation papers and would show them to me if I wanted. So I said um ok, sure. To my surprise...he couldn't find them. Hmmm. What the hell is going on!? The whole situation is just shady to me and isn't sitting right.

Answer Question
 
careph

Asked by careph at 9:25 PM on Sep. 27, 2010 in Relationships

Level 10 (411 Credits)
Answers (18)
  • go with your gut....
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 9:30 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • i wouldnt trust him. if was keeping things from you from the very start of things, then thats an indication of how things may be down the road, assuming that you two would work out. if it were me, not saying you should do this, but i would, i would find his so called ex wife myself and find out the details to save myself from getting hurt or made a fool out of
    kyredz

    Answer by kyredz at 9:31 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • I would take " I can't find the papers" as " I'm still married" You might want to reconsider your relationship with him, he alreadly lies to you, I'm sure that you'll have more lies to look forward to if you stay with him.
    Liz132

    Answer by Liz132 at 9:32 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • My husbands chain of command always tells them "the army doesnt acknowledge separation, only divorce" so... I would guess that nothing has been filed and hes just messing around with you. The military does not look kindly on married soldiers dating or sleeping with people other than their spouse, separated or not. One more thing, why is the divorce taking so long? You met him a few months ago and he says it will still be another few months? THAT sounds fishy to me unless its a sticky custody issue.

    I would back off of this relationship. It will be drama, if it isnt already.
    Aqua_Jen

    Answer by Aqua_Jen at 9:40 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • Definitely very shady! If this happened to me I would not trust him whatsoever. He has lied to you from the beginning and now he can't show proof of anything he has said. If a man was actually getting a divorce he would have the papers available. To me I hear this all I hear is I am married and cheating on my wife and the only way to see other women is to lie to them and say I am divorced or getting one and or separated. Definitely beware and find someone who respects you and isn't playing you. If you stay then he knows he can just get away with lying to you about anything and you won't go anywhere. There are many fish in the see, find another fish...
    Congenial

    Answer by Congenial at 9:45 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • yea as if you'd loose your legal seperation forms. just to put him on the spot i would ask him to ask his wife or the courts for a copy. i'd like to hear what he'd say to that. he is hiding the fact he is married and your his mistress.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 9:45 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • *sea*
    Congenial

    Answer by Congenial at 9:46 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • RUN! jmo :)
    buzymamaof3

    Answer by buzymamaof3 at 9:47 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • I would go with your gut instinct. It seems he is not being honest with you. Personally I wouldn't date any guy unless I knew he was absolutely single and I would have to know that for sure!!! The fact that he says he "can't find the papers" is certainly showing he is lying. You deserve better than a liar.
    gertie41

    Answer by gertie41 at 9:49 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • That is veeeery shady! dont waste your time, he obviously isnt interested in a relationship with you...or anyone for that matter! you can definitely do better! Move on, he is soooooo playing you. Dont let him win!
    lilmans_mommy

    Answer by lilmans_mommy at 9:52 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

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