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How to get your husband to let go of mommy dearest?

My husband is very close to his parents.. especially his mom. He calls his mom to tell her EVERYTHING, including my business.. I am a very personal person so that drives me crazy that my mil knows i have to go to the doc for a yeast infection? but the main problem is that she cries to him about stuff that shouldnt be an issue. like me not wanting to spend the entire day with them.. (drama (mil) and ahole(fil)) and he never sticks up for me or tells them to get over it. he tells me to. i feel second to his parents and i dont think thats how it should be. he calls her to tell her about good news b4 he does me. i talk to my parents alot but him first and he does this with EVERYTHING. they disagree with something I do or how i am doing something and he takes their side. He doesnt back me up for anything

 
Ross2010

Asked by Ross2010 at 10:13 PM on Sep. 27, 2010 in Relationships

Level 17 (4,420 Credits)
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Answers (9)
  • OMG this is my sisters life for 11 years and only getting worse. I feel so sorry for you and my sister. My sister said she wishes she ran and she did not. There were signs but has gotten much worse. Even my husband who never says anything said he can not stand my sisters mil. He said as a man yes you love your mother but cut the apron strings. He said he is a grown man and he should start acting like one. Your life is with your wife and kids not your mommy.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:20 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • have a serious talk with him. old habits die hard, it took a lot for my dh to not call his mom for everything but once he understood how it was affecting our relationship he stopped.
    jennifer588

    Answer by jennifer588 at 10:16 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • I can't help out here. My husband grew up with a dead beat mother, and an alcoholic father. He was raised by his grandmother most of his life. She died when we first started dating.

    As for advice, you should sit down and talk to your husband about what is bothering you and why. Don't accuse him of anything. Just state what it is that bugs you and if you have any examples, then explain that and how it makes you feel. If you start to accuse him of putting his parents first, then he may shut down and become defensive. Anyways, good luck and I hope someone else can offer some sound advice.
    zava_t

    Answer by zava_t at 10:17 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • OMG I would swear you are married to my ex husband!!!!! He did the very same thing with his parents. Not only that but we had to live on the family ranch with them right next door. I hate to be the bearer of bad news but it never changed in 17 years of marriage. For that and many other reasons I divorced him!
    thismamacooks

    Answer by thismamacooks at 10:18 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • Maybe you should tell them to f the hell off, im telling u this because this is exactly what my sister told her mother in law, they were so shocked, tried getting her hubby againts her, my sis had had it, it came to the point to where her mil would arrange the furniture in my sis home while my sis was at work, mil would take care of her kids n paid her ,mil would stay over w/out asking , mil even asked my bil why was he marring my sis, my sis would get upset because they would throw get togethers at my sis w/out asking, they would invite themselves to trips w/my sis n her fam, my bil was a mommas boy , my sis told him that if he really wanted to be w/his mother that much , he can go & f!&ck her then, n now they just backed off.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:20 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • I am sorry. Did you know your DH was like this before you were married? If yes, than you are screwed. You can try setting boundaries with your DH, trying to get him to understand how you feel when he blabs to his mom about YOUR personal business (you have probably already done this) but if he has always been this way than I don't know what to say besides Good Luck.

    PotterMom218

    Answer by PotterMom218 at 10:22 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • I for got to add his mommy did not even want him to have sex with my sister before marriage. This woman is sick. I was reading the other Anony, post this is my sisters mil she also does all of those things also except staying over. People ask if there is a hell, yes living with these sick mil. Oh and the funny thing is she goes to church every Sunday what a joke that is. I would think as she enters the church would go up in flames.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:34 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • I hate this topic because it gets to me my fiances mother calls him all the time and she is so stupid he always tells me he don't want to talk to her and neither do I but he lets her tell him how to run his life and he has lived with me for 2 years come on now he is 24 he needs to grow up.
    jessesmama22

    Answer by jessesmama22 at 11:06 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • my hubby is 30!!! he says that he is very close to his parents, i knew that he was a "family" man - not so much in the sense that he ate dinner with them everynight, etc but he loved his family.. but i didnt KNOW they were this close.. they hell until we found out we started planning the wedding she was an once a week phone call, or less than that... then we found out we were preggo.. now she's EVERYWHERE
    Ross2010

    Comment by Ross2010 (original poster) at 12:01 AM on Sep. 28, 2010

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