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How can i get my 16 year old son to talk 2 me?

He lives with his dad stepmom ad my 13 year old son, he refuses to have any thing to do with me. He treats his little brother ver bad, talks bad about me to him, he says things like why dont you go get your poor mother. He says i am to poor for him to come see. My 13 year old told me his dad says bad things about me to my 16 year old. I dont know what to do anymore my heart is broke. He hasnt came to see me in 3 years . I kept writing him on myspace and got no respons, then he deleted me today as a friend. please help!

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joannesevern

Asked by joannesevern at 2:12 AM on Oct. 22, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • i'm guessing the dad has full custody? if so, not much you can do. Though he should see a counselor and if his dad is manipulating him by saying bad things about you, he shouldn't have custody.
    chyna_doll

    Answer by chyna_doll at 3:24 AM on Oct. 22, 2008

  • Is he living with his dad for a specific reason? If so, he may be acting out of anger or hurt. I'm sure that deep down he still loves you. If the relationship didn't mean anything to him, he wouldn't even acknowledge it--positive or negative. Keep trying to reach out to him and show him that you will always love him, no matter how he acts or what he has to say. His rejection will hurt very deeply--but, eventually, he will grow up and see that you were always there for him--all he needed to do was reach out. Sometimes, guys feel the need to act tough--especially around their fathers who still carry grudges or resentment against their mothers.
    mamamac5

    Answer by mamamac5 at 12:16 PM on Oct. 22, 2008

  • You can't make a child talk to you....especially if they are living with the other parent....send him cards and just tell him you are there when and if he wants to talk to you...don't try to force the issue....I don't know why the boys are with dad, but don't keep putting your 13 yo in the middle...just tell the younger one that you don't want to hear the bad things that dad is saying and that you want to hear about what is going on with him in school, extra activities and be a POSITIVE person in his life....then the 16yo might see that you are really trying to be there for them and not trying to force any relationship...boys don't like to be forced to do anything....good luck, Marty
    malam

    Answer by malam at 5:32 AM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • this is a tough age to get ANY teen to talk to us ! I would just give it time - let him know that you are always there for him - he will grow up some time. just keep praying or him
    tobchintz

    Answer by tobchintz at 7:56 PM on Oct. 23, 2008

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