Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

5 Bumps

How do you deal with a mother in law that sometimes doesnt even say hello to you?

I have a mother in law that one day she says hello and the next day she ignores me. This is really hard for me because I am a good person and feel she never has taken the time to know me. I even wrote her a note before her son and I got married letting her know how I feel and what my intentions were and were not. She never even commented on my note. She was even upset with someone one time and I sat with her for hrs letting her talk and being supportive of her. Well for months after that she would say hello and talk to me and now I am back to being ignored. I would like things to get better. Help!!!!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:08 AM on Sep. 28, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • Kill her with kindness. Call her out of the blue and ask how she is doing. Ask her out for coffee or shopping. Bring her flowers for no reason and in the card thank her for raising such a great son. You can make her your friend of you try.

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 12:11 AM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • Don't do anything. Don't give her any attention. Don't deal with it. Why is it so important that she approves of you? She is probably loving that it bothers you, because when people are childish they do enjoy those things. Just let her be. She knows how you feel and there is nothing you can say or do to change that. WHen she comes over, leave. Go to a friends house, or to the store, or find something to do. Don't acknowlege her at all. She'll get over it on her own.

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 12:12 AM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • You can do what SleepingBeautee said.. Or you can do the complete opposite. Just do what shes doing. Stop trying so hard. Just ignore her right back. May seem childish but why should you try so hard over and over if shes just going to continue acting like a bitch? Make her put a little effort in, no healthy relationship is one sided. Or just pull her to the side and voice your opinion. Shes just acting childish.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:14 AM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • Or you could do the awkward approach, say hi to her, when she ignores you, tell her it is polite to acknowledge people when they acknowledge you. That if she has a problem with you to come out and say it and knock of the passive aggressive BS. lol

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 12:14 AM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • The people that suffer when you treat her like she treats you are your husband and kids. It is better for everyone to try to get along. It took me a LONG time to finally realize that.

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 12:16 AM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • Well, it worked for me. She no longer has issues with me. It's not treating her the same, it's called moving on. By all means welcome her when she's ready But sorry, I kiss no ones ass, and if some one hates me so much, my kids don't need to see them, I think that's more unhealthy then them not seeing her at all, and trust me, my kids aren't suffering, nor are they traumatized.

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 12:33 AM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • Ignore her. Why do you need to be accepted by someone who is so obviously callous cruel cold and selfish?

    Answer by Allergic2Stupid at 1:39 AM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • What does your husband say about the way she treats you? My MIL used to treat me like crap but my husband put a stop to it by telling her if she couldn't respect me then she was about to be missing out on our entire family. Realizing that we are a package deal changed her behavior very fast. If he's not the type to stand up for you, then you should at least stand up for yourself. I don't mean you should be rude, just straightforward like "MIL, did I do something to make you treat me this way?" Asking her flat out will get you a response, and she can't ignore it like she did your letter. Good luck!

    Answer by Ashes0813 at 2:34 AM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • just say hello urself

    Answer by A11 at 4:19 AM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • either kill her w/ kindness when the situation presents itself or just straight up ignore her - ur probably 2 busy w/ games from her anyways - i have a crazy mil like that - i dont kiss her ass but @ the same time i dont let her run me over either - each situation is different u have 2 find ur balance between it all - hold ur head up high -

    Answer by josette at 9:30 AM on Sep. 28, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.