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3 Bumps

im really depressed about my husband changing .. what do i do to make my self happy?

hes going into buddha religion not that i care what he does or some of his reasons but hes just not himself and he completely changed everything about him is different.... i fell in love with the guy i knew a couple years ago .. we always had a bumpy life together. the one thing that keeps me going is my son. what can i do to feel happy again ? i feel that my life is about to end. i feel soo emptyi feel like hes a robot now and does anything out of that book and i feel hes going insane and saying when he gets out of the army hes going to get land in the middle of no where build a small house and live off our garden and not pay bills and no electricity i think this is weird .. this is not my husband at all ..theres alot more worse relationships out there but why should i settle , i dont want to spend my marriege feeling broken and useless.. im soo confused i feel like crying what would you do in this situation ?

Answer Question

Asked by Luckyme3487 at 12:32 AM on Sep. 28, 2010 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 14 (1,572 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • I'd hang in there and find out where his path is leading him. It could be interesting. Why not ride the wave and see what happens? It might be something great in the end or he may find out it's not what he wants and revert back to being himself but you'll never know if you leave. Support his idea. In time I'm sure you want him to support some idea you may have. You can always leave if you don't like it but for now don't fight it, just go with it. ....or I would but that's just me. I love adventures.

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:36 AM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • Has he recently come back from a deployment? He might have PTSD. You should try counseling and see if that helps!

    Answer by SarahLeeMorgan at 12:38 AM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • well thank you admckenzie , thanks for the advise , i was waiting forever to hear from someone well he does go through alot of changes one this to the next maybe its just another phase of life i hope ? but in the mean time what do i do without blowing up at him ? i can i control myself ? i need to feel loved too though

    Comment by Luckyme3487 (original poster) at 12:40 AM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • If all he sees is in the book then write how much you love him in it. And that you want to get some help. Together. My hubby says the same but not all gung ho about it. I told him no way was I living with no running water! Serously tho tell him he's scaring you. And 'we will do it together (get help) we wives have to be there for them when they are weak and not at their best.

    Answer by stepho345 at 12:40 AM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • Have you read the book? It may give you the insight into Buddhism your husband sees.

    Answer by BluDog at 12:49 AM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • IMHO, if his religion is turning your relationship sour, then maybe, just maybe it's not the right one? either that, or your just being self centered and pushing it all away. although i believe buddha is an idol, a false god, i know that when we really draw near to our God, marriage relationships get better. not worse. OR maybe you should do as the pp said, ride it out and see how it goes. talk to him about it. it could be you. he may not even see a problem in your relationship.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:56 AM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • Buddhism is not all about living completely without things like running water and being completely off modern things...good grief. I would get some books and read on your own to better understand his mindset. You don't have to live like a hermit for goodness sakes. LOL I hang out with Buddhist priest and they have cell phones and homes WITH electricity AND running water. He needs to get his head out of the books and go speak to some actual Buddhist and you should do the same. Ask them questions, trust me you will not ask them anything they have not heard in the past. Do your research Mama, Buddhist are not cave dwellers.


    Answer by pnwmom at 1:55 AM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • I would call a veterans hospital and see about getting him a counselor. not that it's bad to find a faith that is right for you, but it sounds like something is going on with him that probably needs a little help.
    good luck, I wish you well with it all.

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 1:44 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • As a Buddhist myself, I think there is a lot going on here. When I converted my life completely changed. I divorced my first husband of many years, gave my dogs away and simplified my life. I went through what is called a Kundalini awakening or an awakening of our life force/spirit. I am sure my first husband thought I was going through a midlife crisis or was having a nervous breakdown. I realize now I was doing what I needed to do for me. For me to be healthy, happy, successful and at peace. I have a new husband who is so much better for me than the old. I have a lifestyle that is calmer, quieter and more loving in all ways than before. I think your husband is going through this. Many times Kundalini awakening prompts us to pull away from our old way of life. He may leave you behind, not the other way around.

    Answer by lilangilyn at 6:28 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

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