Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Baby shower drama (again)

When i got pregnant my friend offered to throw me a baby shower.Well when the planning started she neglected to tell me that i was paying for the whole thing.Am i wrong but arnt you supposed to do budget together?TOGETHER right?My MIL said she should have paid for the whole thing since she OFFERED.
Things i forgot to mention in the last one:
She asked for 300 bucks and then more money for food. It had to be in my home.She wanted to used some of her baby shower stuff(she had a boy-im having a girl)

SOme how my last one picked a anser for me and i couldn fit it :(

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 6:28 AM on Oct. 22, 2008 in Pregnancy

Answers (10)
  • If she offers to do it then yes she is responsible for paying for everything and finding the location. Granted, I don't think having it at your home is to big of a deal but she should have asked and not expected it. Have you given her money yet for it. If not, I would explain to her that you were under the impression that since she was hosting it she would pay for it. If you're going to be paying for everything you may as well plan it on your own so that way you know where all your money is going.

    Answer by vnw1405 at 6:43 AM on Oct. 22, 2008

  • You shouldn't have to pay for your own baby shower in my opinion nor should it be at your house. That would be like asking someone to pay for her own surprise birthday party and presents. I would reconsider having a friend like this.

    Answer by candygirl1030 at 6:44 AM on Oct. 22, 2008

  • Oh, and I forgot to mention, she is responsible for cleaning up after the party regardless of where it's at.

    Answer by vnw1405 at 6:45 AM on Oct. 22, 2008

  • Unbelievable. You do not offer to throw someone a baby shower and then make them cover it all (i have known of them going half and half, but the mommy-to-be paying for it all?) LUDICROUS!

    A friend of mine had a similar issue when her cousin said she would throw her one and then 2 weeks before the day she bailed completely. I literally jumped right in and did whatever I could to get things that were needed, give out prizes, wrote down the gift list, and take care of what they needed help with. I wish I could have done more, but she didn't tell me that the girl bailed until the day of her shower; so hopefully I was helpful.


    Answer by leoangel at 9:14 AM on Oct. 22, 2008

  • (continued)

    In my opinion, if you aren't willing to put forth the time, effort, and even most of the funds, you NEVER offer to throw a baby shower; not only does it make you look like an ass, it makes the person who's expecting feel obligated and stressed out, which is far from what you want them feeling on their special day.

    Answer by leoangel at 9:14 AM on Oct. 22, 2008

  • it sounds ridiculous and i had a similar situation happen with me and my so-called friends and it got so bad that they told me 1 day before it was supposed to happen that everything wasn't in order so i just cancelled the whole thing. I didn't need the stress and im not even gonna think about another shower now that im preggers a 2nd time. But ummm yeah what friends huh? SHe offered a shower so she pays, finds locations and supplies everything. Not no handouts either. Buy some 'friends' really do know how to ruin an event that supposed to be special for you.

    Answer by PreGGie_MaMa08 at 10:06 AM on Oct. 22, 2008

  • (me the poster) Would it be rude if i just told her that i will just take care of everything ALONE with out her help?(my husband  said he will do whatever it takes for my day to be special)The invites are sent.I mean im gonna have to pay anyways with her HELp,but why not get what i really want with my money lol. No one will ever know hahaha

     But really good or bad idea?


    Answer by Anonymous at 11:04 AM on Oct. 22, 2008

  • Do what you want. This friend sounds like a flake anyway, do you really trust her to do eveyrthing she says she's going to? I would take it over. I'm on the verge of taking over mine from my mother because she's so disorganized. Just call her up and say "I"ve decided I want to be involved in this shower and have decided to do abc...etc." Maybe let her have some involvement, or basically use her to run errands and pick up stuff, but don't leave everything to her. She won't argue with you, I"m sure.

    Answer by danielp at 3:43 PM on Oct. 22, 2008

  • I would just tell her to forget it and throw it yourself to get what you really want- maybe you MIL or someone else close to you can take over as host. I hope you have a very happy shower.

    Answer by candygirl1030 at 4:54 PM on Oct. 22, 2008

  • Your friend is a not doing it right. If you offer to throw a baby shower then you pay for the baby shower. The new mom NEVER pays for the shower. I would tell her no.
    Good Luck!

    Answer by bumpfashion at 5:39 PM on Oct. 23, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.