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6 Bumps

MIL is making me consider divorce

She isn't happy about my hubby's choice of wife (I'm Afrikaans, he's English). She insults me and thinks I'm too stupid to understand (My english is actually very good for an English-speaking person). All of this, I've brushed off for 3 years now. Even when we had our daughter 6 months ago, I ignored her "constructive criticism". Yesterday was the last straw. Our DD has allergies. We are gradually introducing solids to monitor her reaction. I didn't sleep a wink last night my poor DD was in agony. MIL watched her for a while and gave her a whole bowl (complete meal, instead of a bottle) of wheat porridge! Her kids never had allergies, so she thinks I'm making it all up. Hubby has spoken to her but she knows best! Im at my wit's end. Advice please?!


Asked by CassyzMom at 9:14 AM on Sep. 28, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 17 (4,127 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (19)
  • Be aware that divorce would make the situation worse, because she'll get full access when dad has custody.

    Tell your husband that he needs to tell her to BACK OFF.

    And if it all means your mom loses sitting privileges, SO BE IT. Hire a third party who's not family, with firm instructions of NO VISITORS. That will show hubby you're dead serious about your baby's welfare and not just pissed about your MIL. BABY COMES FIRST. Not the grandparents.

    The grandmas can both visit when you're both there.

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:56 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • Don't let her watch your child any more. Don't leave him becuse of her. Just start leaveing her out of your life until she realizes that she needs to change how she treats your family.

    Answer by Alanaplus3 at 9:17 AM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • I would simply tell her to mind her business. the marriage is between you and him and she needs to be put into her place. A mother in law should be supportive and loving not nosey and vindictive. I hope that u and your hubby let her know that this is your marriage and she needs to mind her business or else! good luck mamma

    Answer by newmommyjazz at 9:18 AM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • Don't let your MIL hurt your marriage, stick up for yourself next time she treats you badly, ask your DH to do the same, make her understand that you're not going anywhere dispite her best efforts and she needs to respect you. As far as the allergy thing goes, your child may not be allergic to wheat, but my be too young to digest such a large quantity of it, babies digestive systems are still developing at 6 months and it was likely too much to handle

    Answer by Liz132 at 9:22 AM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • Your mom won't be "allowed" to babysit? By whose say so, your husbands?

    Does your mom put your child in danger by feeding her foods that could cause her to have a severe reaction? Does she actually listen to and respect the decisions you two make as parents? If so, then I don't see any reason she couldn't watch them.

    I don't care if I had to find another baby sitter or not, she would NOT be watching our child until she made it perfectly clear she could respect us. You and your husband need to have a serious talk. Don't let the evil MIL (I have one too girl) get in the way of your marriage. And stand up for yourself. I know it's hard, but when it comes to your LO's safety... it's just gotta be done!

    Answer by MrsDex at 10:04 AM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • its none of her business

    Answer by Zoeyis at 9:17 AM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • Don't divorce him because of her. Just stop visiting and discussing things with her. Don't let her watch your daughter if she cannot honor your wishes. Eventually she might get the hint.

    Answer by rllns at 9:26 AM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • Does your MIL live with you? Or do you live with her?

    Answer by tootoobusy at 9:16 AM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • I can imagine how frustrating that is for you. The best thing I can think of is for you to sit down and discuss it with your mother in law. Come as a united couple, and explain to her that although you love her and understand she wants to help, you and your baby's doctor are doing what is best for your child. She may be feeling displaced. Is there something you can ask her advice on that will make her feel wanted and useful? Good luck hon!

    Answer by duckigrrl at 9:22 AM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • We don't live together .... thankfully

    Comment by CassyzMom (original poster) at 9:22 AM on Sep. 28, 2010