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How do I stop malicious gossip from negative ppl from dogging my reputation?

I don't know what to do anymore. My reputation has been slandered for as long as I can remember. By family members, so called friends, ex boyfriends, enemies, and even strangers get attitudes. I admit that I am not a perfect person and have made mistakes, but not so severe to warrant the crap I have endured. I have had simple things like going through a shortcut turned into to a lie of me being sneaky. I have been called other rotten names for holding a simple conversation with a guy and not anything of a intimate or romantic nature. To the point if he had a girlfriend then ppl would tell her that I was tryn to get him. Etc...I have had scandals created out of me simply calling someone to ask a favor...This has cost me friendships and intimate relationships and/or potential relationships. The thing that bothers me the most is that whatever is said: its done behind my back and Iwouldn't know until a scandal has erupted HELP

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LovingUs

Asked by LovingUs at 9:54 AM on Sep. 28, 2010 in Relationships

Level 5 (62 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Move. Seriously. I live in a small town and it's bad here too. When you take a dump they want to know what color it is. When I moved out of state it was the most peaceful time of my life.
    mhaney03

    Answer by mhaney03 at 9:59 AM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • small town and young age were my thoughts when reading this
    especially small town

    when i lived in a small town, i went to store and had someone come up to me and ask me...heard you left your husband and your three kids (i was never married and had no children) so i said to this person, "yes i left my husband, but you have it wrong, i left our six kids"
    and left store with smurk on my face, small town had made up story about me before anyone knew me
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 10:06 AM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • Don't let ppl get to u by talking because they life probly isn't know better when ppl talk about another person or just being in a person business they don't have a life of they own, I use to feel the same way but it don't bother me because I know what I'm doing do they!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Lilmama35555

    Answer by Lilmama35555 at 10:16 AM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • You are correct it was a small town by ppl that I knew. They were they ones who started the most awful stuff. I did move to a bigger city to free myself from the insidious crap. At the suggestion of a "friend" and they started gossiping. Although I wasn't keeping in contact with the hometown ppl, I suspect that this friend has been gossiping to someone back home abt me, she is an attention seeker.Anyway, a few years back, I met an aquaintance from my past. He was a guy introduced by my family and reintroduced by a "family member. The guy and I spoke on the phone at first and eventually saw each other from time to time. He told that ppl from my hometown told him some cruel shyt abt me. I ended up in falling in love with him,my faul. I called the second family member to send a msg to the guy and this cousin created a vicious scandal and hate campaign on me. The relationship was ruin before the guy and I ever had a first convo.
    LovingUs

    Comment by LovingUs (original poster) at 10:31 AM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • Move again...to another state completely..and alone...I mean you can contact mom and dad but dont give out personal business. I had to that and I cut off everyone but my mom and dad and limited the information I gave them too about love, life, and finances...eh If you continue to call and tell people that you consider friends your business then you are going to get more trouble...sever the ties and create new ones else where...create your own happy place
    4_28_bbboy

    Answer by 4_28_bbboy at 1:04 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • If you can't live with 'em you can live without 'em.

    Separate yourself from ppl who are negative and unhealthy. Go on about your life, however you feel is appropriate. When people are talking about you... feel sorry for them. "How sad that you don't have anything going on in your own life that you are so worried about mine" You cannot live your life worried about what others are thinking about you. You just need to live your life.
    Niki_sd

    Answer by Niki_sd at 1:06 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • Thanks everyone...I have wrestled with this way too long. I put it out here because I am really considering moving to another state and severing these ties AGAIN. I am tired of feeling guilt like I'm running away; when in fact, its peace of mind and growth I have always seeked. The naivity comes from thinking that I was proving that I could grow in spite of the negativity and drama. The wisdom is acknowledging that I can't because there wasn't a genuine supportive foundation. Many ppl hid the truth and played those games just to hinder me, by intentionally to blocking my dreams and the possibility of my growing into my beautiful and knowledgable self. Moreso, my becomming independent, confident, and truly happy without their bs and obstacles affecting my life. I read something online earlier that resonates deeply within me. Life is not about finding yourself; it is about creating yourself and the life you want to live.
    LovingUs

    Comment by LovingUs (original poster) at 9:51 AM on Sep. 29, 2010

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