Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Hubby takes mom and sister's side everytime

My DH and I are on the verge of giving up. His mother and sister are very controlling and they are trying to controll everything in his life, from my household to how we raise our daughter to what I feed him. They carelessly disregard our rules and routines we set for DD. MIL doesn't think routine is important . We fight about it constantly because he doesn't see anything wrong with it. I want to be a good mom and raise a stable, well adjusted girl. How can I do that when they won't stop sabotaging my attempts? I can't avoid them because my hubby will insist we avoid my family aswell then. (My family respects our wishes and I don't want to punish them because of my inlaws, they've done nothing wrong and it would break my parents' hearts if they weren't allowed to see her) What would you do if you were me?

 
CassyzMom

Asked by CassyzMom at 10:06 AM on Sep. 28, 2010 in Relationships

Level 17 (4,127 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • I had this same kind of problem and unfortunately - my husband and I ended up divorcing over it. His family lived right next door - so close we shared the same driveway. The sister planned all of our holidays, even went so far as to baking my kids birthday cakes without consulting me. She would walk into our house without knocking, etc. My ex refused to acknowledge the problem. My family was rarely - if ever - even invited over and we never went there for holidays. If that did happen, I went alone. Good luck - you may want to suggest counseling. We went - but it was too late for us!
    Nikobaby2010

    Answer by Nikobaby2010 at 11:04 AM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • You need to talk with your hubby... if you were on the same page with these things he would back you up. My dh is very close with his family but we stand united on how we raise our children.
    Mommy2Gabrielle

    Answer by Mommy2Gabrielle at 10:09 AM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • I would talk to the inlaws myself. Your MIL needs to understand that she raised her kids already and she needs to allow you to do the same. And I would tell her that exactly.
    dmelyoung

    Answer by dmelyoung at 10:24 AM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • Because evidently your DH cannot get his family to butt out, I would say to avoid them. Since your family has not been the issue, I would still see them.

    Tell DH that if he cannot keep your MIL and SIL out of it, then you will limit the time they have with your child while your family will stil be able to see her. If he cannot stand up to them, then he cannot tell you to limit your family's visits with DD
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 10:10 AM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • Yes---you need to explain how important it is for you two to agree on how to raise your child and he needs to tell his family that they have to respect your views. I would be hurt if I were you. But this has to be done with care and without nasty fighting ,okay?
    gertie41

    Answer by gertie41 at 10:23 AM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • Have a talk with your inlaws, since your dh feels that its okay for them to undermind everything you do. Your inlaws need to hear it from you that you want them to stop butting in your business. If they cannot understand then its their loss and not yours...
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 10:57 AM on Sep. 28, 2010

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN