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how do you just forget to change your childs clothes?

I have a lady who I babysit for who has 2 boys and half the time they are wearing the same clothes they wore the day before and have full wet diapers when they get dropped off at 830. They are nearly 3 and 20 months old. The ladys mom picked up the baby today cause he had a fever then she called me back and told me that she was going to bring me some clothes later to change the oldest into. She told me that she forgets to change her kids sometimes. How can you forget to change your kids? I mean she is a single mom and dad isn't involved, but I still don't understand how you can just forget to dress your kids or change there diapers. Now when my kids were in diapers I might go to change them if they like peed, but then I would forget what I was doing an then I would say oh ya, but never forgot in the morning and not when poopy. And I never forget to put pjs on and never forgot new clothes in the morning.


Asked by mommy5409 at 11:04 AM on Sep. 28, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 25 (22,258 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (18)
  • It doesn't have anything to do with "judging" - has to do with the welfare of a child or, in this case, the welfare of two children. This is not acceptable. It is neglect. And it is not ok.

    Answer by justnancyb at 3:01 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • Regardless of what is happening in her home, she has an obligation to care for her children. To not do so is neglect. Babies cannot be left in soiled diapers, children not be wearing the same dirty clothes day after day. Let's face it, it wouldn't be difficult to take off a child's shirt and scrub the food off in running water in the sink and air dry it over night while the child slept.
    I am an only parent - my husband died in April. Never have I forgotten to change my child's clothing. Never did I forget to change a diaper. This is a health and well-being issue, and it is neglect. If it happened once? Sure, it's reasonable to say that there may be extenuating circumstances. But a pattern of this? Completely unacceptable.

    Answer by Gaccck at 11:27 AM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • Absolutely neglect - and absolutely inexcusable.

    Answer by jinxandjoy at 11:30 AM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • It's her responsibility to care for her children. She's not doing it. It's neglect - and if it continues, it should be reported. If the children were wearing the same clothes each day but they were cleaned in between wears and the diapers were changed, that wouldn't indicate a problem. This indicates a clear problem. I'd be wary if I were you - I wouldn't be surprised if someone else reports to CPS and she says "it's the day care provider, she doesn't blah blah blah and she sends my kids home dirty blah blah blah". Help the children and CYA at the same time - report it. If it's a simple matter of her being taught to parent, they have free parenting classes available.

    Answer by 3boysandmekmcd at 2:17 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • Not gonna lie, it's happened with my 8 year old, he has slept in his clothes and tried to wear them the next day, if we don't leave the house I don't make too big an issue out of it. If he were going to school or leaving the house I would make sure he changed. Now not changing your kids diaper all nite is another story....

    Answer by skittles1108 at 11:07 AM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • I have 3 kids, and there are times when I've forgotten to change diapers. It happens, especially when we're in a rush to leave the house. They've also worn their pjs for 2 days straight. Don't judge the mom.

    Answer by rockinmomto2 at 11:16 AM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • We had moms and kids like this show up at daycare all the time. The first thing I ALWAYS did in the morning before I could even wake up all the way is change my kids diaper.

    I get that people say dont be judgmental b/c she might be having a really hard time for some reason...but its hard not to feel bad for the kids and to wish they had better care!

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 11:18 AM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • I would ask her if there was anything I could do to help. Perhaps give the kids baths before she picks them up. I think it is sad, and I have no idea what her life is like right now. Maybe no one ever taught her how to be a responsible clean mom. Some people just need some guidance. If you have the time, give it. Perhaps watch them at her home a day or two a week, change the crib sheets, help with laundry. We are all very busy, but I believe in going the extra mile especially when a child or children will gain from your help. Maybe go to Walmart and buy $3.50 Garanimal clothes and keep them at your house, or a spare pair of pj's etc

    Answer by salexander at 11:39 AM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • How do you just forget to change your child's clothes? You don't. Forgetting is just an easy excuse for laziness. It doesn't matter what else is happening in her life, you don't "forget" to care for your children. And if you did "forget" to change a baby? They will fuss and cry and let you know that they need some help. You'd have to be actually choosing to ignore the child. And that is neglect.

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 2:51 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • Don't judge. You don't know what's going on there.

    Answer by mompam at 11:05 AM on Sep. 28, 2010