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2 Bumps

What's the best punishment for a 8 year old?

She's really a great kid, but she is battling jealousy with her sister. I thought it would go away, but it's been 2 years. She is so defiant and is turning into a liar. We have removed her TV, game boy, radio, special events, and it seems like nothing is helping. HELP me please!

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Asked by shara81 at 11:06 AM on Sep. 28, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 2 (4 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • I take away computer and tv time. I have also done the 8 minute time out. I have to say 8 year olds really don't like a babyish time out. A few of them may help.

    Answer by skittles1108 at 11:09 AM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • I still use a rare time-out with my 10 year old and that has been VERY good at reducing back-talk. 10 minutes in a chair immediately after he utters something he shouldn't. It's got the immediacy that removal of privledges just doesn't have. You might also try fines - give her allowance in nickels and fine one nickel everytime she battles with her sister. The key is to stay consistent so that she knows the defiance always results in something negative and immediate.

    Answer by Dr.Donna at 11:09 AM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • maybe she doesn't need punishment but some extra attention? look at it from her point of view, does she have a reason to be jealous? try giving her some one-on-one time (i know NOT easy with more then one kid :( ) but maybe she is just acting out to get your attention :-/

    Answer by DreainCO at 11:10 AM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • Have you tried talking to her when she isn't misbehaving and asking her how she feels about what is going on? She's old enough to have really super complicated feelings and ideas but might not have a fully loaded emotional tool box for dealing with them and communicating them. Thus, she's rotten.

    Answer by ecodani at 11:14 AM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • When she's acting out, ask her what she is feeling. Get her to talk about her feelings. You may be punishing her for her feelings, which don't just go away, so that's why you should asses the feelings and let her talk. Start over, give her back her stuff, and tell her you are starting over, but you want to talk about what's going on between her and her sister.

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 11:25 AM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • In frustration one day I said to my 8 year old, "What do I need to do to get you to stop debating me at every turn?" And he gave me an answer. He suggested taking way something I hadn't considered before. :) So the next time he mouthed off, I took that item away. He was stunned AND he improved.

    My 6 yo DD likes to be a story-teller. She'll fib. The other day she was telling me something that seemed like it had to be one of her tales - but it wasn't. The thing is, no one believed her and she was hurt by that. We pointed out that it is so hard to believe her because she isn't always truthful. If she wants people to believe her when it's important, she needs to be honest ALL the time. And now she gets it. It was a hard lesson for her to learn!

    Answer by ldmrmom at 12:08 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • Removal of privileges is always a good thing to make an impact as a punishment for breaking trust, but also try to get to the bottom of things and figuring out what you can do to help her be happier and not so jealous that she is acting out. Let her know that she can talk to you and tell you how she feels and that is the only way you can help.

    Answer by KTMOM at 4:11 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • I am the big sister and I still resent my little sister. My parents just assumed that I was so mature that I could handle it. I think your daughter needs extra love and attention. If you continue to punish her she'll learn to hate her sibling. My sis and I are now married adults and I still can't stand her for more than an hour at a time.

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 5:15 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • An eight year old with a game boy, tv, computer etc. do you ever get to talk to her?
    An eight year old little girl does not need distractions she needs interactions. Spend time with her and find out about what makes her jealous. With so many forms of media, and not always positive media, children can fail to learn how to deal with issues the right way and how to form a relationship with others.
    All children have moments of jealousy but with my 5 those are very limited and are usually dealt with by talking about it and teaching them how to deal with those emotions.

    Answer by lovebdus at 5:43 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • Remove toys, take away tv time or video game time.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 1:45 AM on Sep. 30, 2010

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