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2 Bumps

How to deal with someone???

My ex ( father of my daughter) is a P.O.S! He had nothing to do with my daughter during my pregnancy (was actually verbally and physically abusive), after she was born he had NOTHING to do wth her (would leave for days at a time to go party, when he was here he wouldnt help me with her at all), and still had nothing to do with her after i left him even 2 years later. he would(blue moon) come "visit her" but NEVER spent any time with her, the whole time he was trying to talk me back into being with him. When he found out that I was getting serious with my hubby(now) he started making trouble. tyring to fight my hubby, dad, and anyone else(all in front of her). He is now taking me back to court for modification of visitation, and still shows NO interest in her, he watches the clock when hes here and NEVER calls to check on her. It stresses me out because he doesnt care about her and i dont know how to not let it worry me.


Asked by Ross2010 at 11:33 AM on Sep. 28, 2010 in Relationships

Level 17 (4,420 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Sounds like you need to get a restraining order and get him out of your life. If you haven't already, have your now hubby adopt her, so legally your ex is out of the picture, and your lives forever. You don't need someone like that in your life, and your daughter certainly doesn't either. I'm not sure how deeply your daughter is attached to him though... if he doesn't spend that much time maybe she doesn't have too much of a connection? But he sounds like trouble and it sounds like he won't change. Good luck hun & I pray for the best for you...

    Answer by MamaLisa1976 at 11:38 AM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • I hope it all works out-
    I'll be sending you good thoughts.

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 11:38 AM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • i wouldnt let him around, of course he does have rights but until them let the court decide when he getts to come over, thats just me.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:38 AM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • Message me if you want to talk! I am in this very situation with my ex, who was also emotionally/physically abusive. I was 16 when I got pregnant, 17 when I had my daughter. He demanded I get an abortion, which I don't believe in. I kicked him to the curb about six months after she was born. He made up all these lies to try to get me to take him back, threatened me, filled my voicemail box almost everyday. To this day (almost 7 years later), he is STILL causing trouble. He does not pay child support on a regular basis, he never asks about my daughter, doesn't want to see her. He just emails me all the time because he can't let go (even though he's married, and I've beem married for 4 years). I finally just had to lay down the law with him. I let him know that 1) he is NOT and will not EVER be my friend. 2) He is more than welcome to contact me regarding my daughter, but if it has nothing to do with her, I will not respond...

    Answer by SAHMomOf3 at 11:38 AM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • Cont...
    3) If he chooses to create drama in my life, I will go get an all-inclusive restraining order.
    The month before I got married, he called me, crying, saying his mom had passed away. He came over and upset my daughter, who was only 2 at the time. He had her so upset that I had to take her over to my parents' house because I couldn't get her calmed down. Six months later, his "dead" mother called my parents' house, looking for me! Yea... I know exactly what you are dealing with. Feel free to message me anytime you want to talk/need to vent!

    Answer by SAHMomOf3 at 11:40 AM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • it is hard not to let it bother you but you have to move on he just need to grow up when you guys daughter grow up some more shes going to want him in her life but you have to be stronge and stand up for yourself he's not worth the time too stress yourself over!!!!!!!!!!!

    Answer by Lilmama35555 at 11:50 AM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • Its hard not letting it get to you. You are her mother, her protector, it would get next to you. But look at it this way. You have to stay focused. You have to put aside your personal feelings about this man and concentrate on what's best for your daughter. Regardless as to how he treated you in the relationship. Since he's going for modification of the visits, he has show good cause why the visits should be modified, right? Do you have documentation of his visits? Did he miss visits? IF so, present this to your attorney and allow your attorney to deal with the modification...hope everything works out in your daughter's favor.

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 11:58 AM on Sep. 28, 2010