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my 27 yo son is an addict, anyone want to talk about his problems

He has been an addict for 13 yrs or more. we don't know how to help anymore. he needs us for everything. rent is due now and we are not sure to pay it for him or let him get kicked out? he won't or can't work

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l00kin4me

Asked by l00kin4me at 10:54 AM on Oct. 22, 2008 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (30)
  • Pay it for him.

    What is his addiction? Unfortunately he needs to want to help himself. have you discussed this with him? If so maybe you can help him find the help he needs and be as supportive as you can with it.

    I think you need to have a talk though. Especially because you cant keep bailing him out..I always believe parents should help their children no matter what age - but in this case, you need to talk about the whole situation...that you want him to get help for his addiction and hope that he wants to too. If he doesnt maybe ask him why and try to understand how he is feeling, his position.

    Don't isolate him further though.

    keyaziz

    Answer by keyaziz at 11:01 AM on Oct. 22, 2008

  • Its a really difficult situation. My mother was an alcoholic and she never really helped herself. So we couldnt. She died the week after my son was born. Sometimes I think I could have helped more, but ultimately it is down to the individual. My mother managed to fend for herself until her condition affected her too much she actually couldnt work (black outs etc) but I did help her out whenever I could.
    keyaziz

    Answer by keyaziz at 11:01 AM on Oct. 22, 2008

  • He's 27...Time for some belated tough love..Tell him your not going to spend any or give him any more money...It's time to let him go and kick this habit on his own..Deal with life as an adult..Good luck

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 11:02 AM on Oct. 22, 2008

  • Do NOT pay his rent, or give him any money. Every time you do, you are enabling him that much more. I am sorry to say as hard as it is, you have to let him take whats coming to him. He will either come around or not. Either way you did what you could, he is now and adult and responsible for his own actions. Tough love is the hardest thing you will ever have to do.
    Pat-S

    Answer by Pat-S at 11:02 AM on Oct. 22, 2008

  • DO NOT LISTEN TO THEM.

    He has an ADDICTION.

    Leave him high and dry because hes 27? Isolate him further. If you can pay it then you should imo. That is another human being in a desperate situation, even if it has been for a long time.

    This isnt time for tough love at all. If you have never had an addiction you wouldnt know what its like to be in that position. Just think about when you eat for comfort. Would you like that feeling you get from the tub of ice cream taken away from you? No. Please dont turn your back on him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:30 AM on Oct. 22, 2008

  • Def time for tough love. He needs to hit rock bottom before he wakes up. Thats usually what it takes. If you wan to help him you have to let him do it himself. As a parent you need give him the chance to learn from his mistakes.
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 11:30 AM on Oct. 22, 2008

  • Not sure what anon means but you have to. We're not talkin no communication; simply just not picking up his pieces. Dont enable him by payin his rent or giving him any money. Thats why he is still ok with where he is. He has no responsibilities and gets to get high all day. Its only gonna hurt him more. Be ther efor him emotionally but NOT financially! GL
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 11:33 AM on Oct. 22, 2008

  • I have a 22 month old little boy and I always wonder what hes going to turn out like, if hes going to go to college or end up the total opposite and live a really rocky road like your son is. I find it hard to believe that the little boy I nursed for 13 months and loved and cuddled could actually grow up to be a drug addict or something along those lines but we never know how they will end up, we just have to hope for the very best and prey they make the right decisions.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:43 PM on Oct. 22, 2008

  • Why would you pay it for him? So he can get it in his head that you'll pick up the tab whenever he needs it? My grandmother is in her 60's and has a 40 yr old son just like yours. He will not work, when he DOES get money he spends it on his addictions. You need to get rid of him. Maybe help him get into rehab and that's it. My grandma should be enjoying her retirement, instead she's still raising her loser son that won't do anything. Is that what you want?
    MarlyeGirl

    Answer by MarlyeGirl at 2:29 PM on Oct. 22, 2008

  • Its a tricky thing,

    I wont lie to you,

    I dont know what id do ...

    He has an addiction...and pays for that,
    but cannot pay for his rent?

    He has no job, no nothing etc,

    i DONT agree with MARLYE girl,

    You need to get RID of him?????

    Um....you dont rid your children away,

    Id give him a choice,

    Dont pay his rent
    but give him hope
    and tell him once he gets out of rehab you will help him get on his feet,
    Id send him to rehab.





    LexsiesMommy

    Answer by LexsiesMommy at 6:42 PM on Oct. 22, 2008

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