Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

A stay home Mom for 18 yrs.

I know today its just weird to be a stay home Mom to most but I said when I had children no matter what, I will be the one home with my children and I have done that, thats just me but I want to see if their are other Moms who have been home taking care of hubby, children and the home that do it all cooking cleaning EVERYTHING!!! just b/c I am home should a wife Mommy do it all all the time They get weekends, breaks and time off.I just feel like just their maid anymore, and now quilty for not getting out there and helping my husband finacially because we could of had more.My question is just b/c I dont work outside the home should I have to do everything in the home and even some yardwork too, and husband and son now 15,thinks cause Im home I should pickup after them constant? I am really feeling burned out.and never feel any respect for being home so long.I feel if I had a job,I would get more help at home and more respect.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:45 PM on Sep. 28, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (8)
  • Stay at home moms have the most thankless job!!! Time to start getting that boy ready to take care of himself. He's old enough to learn how to do laundry. Show him how and then don't do it for him. When he runs out of clothes he'll have to do it himself. Start slow and have him take on a new responsibilty every month or so. Nothing will change over nite, it will have to take some time.

    Answer by skittles1108 at 12:52 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • I can say this, as far as your son....picking up after him constantly isn't going to teach him how to be responsible. My hubby's mother never made him "clean" or do "household chores'....basically cause she isn't the cleanest house keeper either, but he just doesn't get it when it comes to regular leaning, and they should. After all, there will come a day in a few years he is out of the house. Are you going to clean his apartment, dorm room, whatever, when he is a young adult? Your hubby should back you on this too. There also comes a point of caring for your hubby gets out of hand. If he can't take his dirty laundry and at least put it in a basket or the laundry room where it goes, or throw a piece of garbage away rather than leave it lay in the livingroom or kitchen counter....that is just laziness!!

    Answer by 2BlondeBabies at 12:54 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • I've been a stay at home mom for the better part of 16 years. 4 kids ages 16, 15, 10, and almost 8. It is a hard job and what sucks is that sometimes, people don't realize how hard it is. And then when I do my own thing during the day, people sometimes get jealous because I have "Freedom"


    Answer by Roadfamily6now at 12:55 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • I've only been a SAHM for two years, but I agree with the other ladies. Your son is old enough to start picking up after himself and helping out with chores around the house. He's never going to learn responsibility if you don't make him start doing some things on his own. When I was 15, I was helping my parents do yard work, doing my own laundry, cleaning up the house, etc. And people do love to walk all over SAHM's. They think they're lazy, don't do anything all day, etc. But you've been doing it all of those years, I think you deserve a break. For once your hubby and son should help you out and appreciate you for all you've done for them over the years and take care of YOU. I'm lucky enough that I get a break when my husband walks through the door at 5 o'clock. He won't let me do the cooking, he has to do it because it's one of the things he loves.

    Answer by poptart0325 at 1:01 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • My husband and i decided together that one of us should try to always be there for our kids while the other goes back to school and works. For us we managed it somehow. It sounds like your not getting that support . Everyone who stays home with kids gets frustrated and feels under appreciated from time to time. Your not alone feeling like this! perhaps it is time to try and do something for yourself, whether its classes, join a club, find a hobby you like or even start working . there are so many choices for you, it's never to late to try something new. This change might be just what your dh and son need to realize and appreciate how much you have done for them!  


    Answer by aussielee at 1:01 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • NO! I am a SAHM of soon to be 5, (hubby is army ) and we live on post , he does all yardwork (exept my garden) and n the weekends he does 50 % of housewok, he cooks whe I dont want to, and he and I firmly believe that weboth had our klids and he is just as responsible for them as I am When we have a baby, he gets 6 weeks of paid leave (military) and he does night duywith ou babies! He helps every night with baths, and bedtime, and he also lts me go shopping anget out every sat. and sun. if I choose to! I am a neat freak, so I keep up with my home 24/7 but H also pitches in!

    Answer by JoLee12345 at 1:10 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • if you feel you want to help out with money get a part time job so your only out of the house during the time your son goes toschool.. you will feel the respect from others and still have helped the family more.. deffently show your son that he has to clean up after him self .. and let yoru hubby respect what he does and would love to have a little helpw ith the outside duties,. start out slow with him too ..I agree with my hubby that i do the inside stuff he does the out side jobs.. I also work part time and ;love it ..good luck and keep us posted..

    Answer by Karen_1267 at 1:11 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • I have been at home for my kids for 13 years, I feel the same way sometimes and I know people are quick to say well get a part time job to get out of the house, well even if you get out of the house the dirty dishes and laundry will still be there! And even though your son is 15 he still needs you to be there and available for him whenever he needs you. I have 4 (13/12/7/2) kids and even though I stay home for them they still have chores. I shouldn't have to pick up after them, they can pick up there own stuff. I do there laundry, I feed them there meals, I drop everything when they call and say "mom I forgot my project", "mom I forgot my cleets", " mom I forgot my money for the bla bla" mom, mom, mom. The least they could do is pick up there stuff. I feel you, no respect! My hubby helps out some but not as much as I like, he's a rough neck and is gone half the time but he tries. Give your son chores!

    Answer by mcme at 2:38 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.