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other mother at my son's preschool

I feel like I am so judged by the other mothers at my son's school. They are having bake sales, volunteering for field trips, carnivals and things during the day and I either am not interested (I don't really bake if it doesn't come from a box) or not available I work 40+ hours a week. I was so looking forward to my son going to preschool because I don't have many friends with kids my son's age and I thought that would be a nice way to connect with other moms. I think I am one of the few mothers their (it is a church based preschool) that works outside the home. I have no judgement either way, I just wanted to make friends. Any advice?


Asked by Bubbie0809 at 3:23 PM on Sep. 28, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 31 (47,643 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • I agree that there is nothing wrong with baked goods from a box. Hey, at least you made an effort, although I'm of the opinion that you should offer to do something that lies within your area of expertise. If you suck at baking, don't do it. You'll hate it. If you are good at organizing, offer to do something along those lines. You'll get to know at least one or two of the other moms that way. It's funny, though, while you are feeling like they aren't accepting of you, they may feel like you aren't accepting of them. Like you might think they are nothing more than brain dead housewives who are overly active at their child's school. The reality is, we all are sensitive about things that nobody else is giving two craps about. LOL It's just the way we are. I say you just make a leap of faith that they are nice people. Do something to be nice and you might be surprised at what you discover. Good luck, mama! Let us know how it goes

    Answer by JawgaMom1 at 10:22 AM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • I have found in these situations that you do have make a little extra effort to make connections with other moms. Especially if they already know each other from church.

    Answer by chefronswife at 3:26 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • What's wrong with made from a box at bake sales? If it's what you can make, it's what you can make.

    Keep trying. Find ways to meet with them, and if you can, meet with someone outside of preschool. Offer to have a play date with someone. It takes time, but it's possible.

    Answer by tyheamma at 3:31 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • You are "not interested" or you are working. Ok, I understand that you may be working and not available. That make sense. But choosing not to participate in other activities because you are "not interested"? You're creating your own problem. If you want to make friends, you're going to have to put some effort it to it.

    Answer by Gaccck at 1:06 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • Sucks doesn't it? I felt the same way when my youngest was in preschool. My issue wasn't working though. It was that I was only 19 while everyone else was in their 30's. I didn't meet anybody. Making friends is hard and meeting them is simply a stroke of luck I have learned.


    Answer by Orionsgirl at 3:27 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • From what you said it is your feelings that are creating the problem. You may feel inferior but they may not think anything of you not participating in that stuff. Do you have anything else in common with them? can you find something t do with them to get to know them better? Do you go to bible studies at the church? Can you invite them out to meet you for dinner? Sometimes we expect others to reach out to us but really they may be waiting for you to make the call. Find something you like to do and invite a few of them to meet you.

    Answer by ria7 at 3:28 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • Hmmm, it is hard when you work and are just unable to do the things they can with their free time. Are you a member of that church? If so, what if you joined in on some of the Sunday activities that go on in the church. That way they will see you other than drop off and pick up and see you want to participate week days just don't work for you.

    Answer by katie23 at 3:30 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • You could really say.. "I always miss out on the daytime field trips because of work and I really want to get to know you guys!! You want to take the kids to the park this sat?"

    Answer by ria7 at 3:30 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • I found with my daughter (5) that we really didn't meet other parents until the kid's starting having birthday parties, around age 4 or so. At preschool it was such a quick drop off and pick up situation that you can't really make friends (it was not church based, so it may be different). In my daughter's 4th year she was probably invited to 8 parties, we went to most, and after one or two of these, you quickly find who you like and don't like and you tend to gravitate to those people at all the parties. Now she's 5 and we're starting with some play dates, which gives us opportunites to meet other parent's as well, some work out, some don't. I know its hard, but as your kids get more involved in the community it just happens whether you like it or not, lol. I sit with some women during her ballet class, swim lessons, etc... good luck and don't get discouraged it takes time =)

    Answer by gramsmom at 3:32 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • I am only friend with a select few moms at my son's preschool. I typically do not engage with women b/c they are catty.

    Answer by Mom2Just1 at 5:17 PM on Sep. 28, 2010