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Calling my stepdad "Grandpa"

My mom has a history of bad relationships and marriages. She married this man 2 years ago after knowing him for 4 months. I have my suspicions about him, I think he is taking advantage of my mom because he knows her personality is fragile (She was molested for 9 years as a child, so she has PTSD and sometimes reverts to the 8 year old mentality) and he doesnt work, so my mom has to make the money while he sits home and doesnt even take care of the domestic chores. He lets his 16 year old son do whatever he wants and the son calls my mom bad names!

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:50 PM on Oct. 22, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • I grew up calling my grandmother's husband "grandpa" and I loved him very much. My mother did not consider him her father either, but she genuinely liked the man and had no issues with him. So, your case is very different. I don't think you are out of line at all either. Just tell your mother you are uncomfortable with the child calling him "grandpa". Call him by his first name or some other term combined with his first name...whatever you are comfortable with. Maybe whatever you call him yourself would be a good idea.
    BJoan

    Answer by BJoan at 2:31 PM on Oct. 22, 2008

  • Cont'-
    I am 22, married 3 years and had a baby 8 months ago. My mom wants my baby to call her husband "grandpa" and taking pictures of my daughter and"grandpa"

    I am not comfortable with that at all. I have a mistrust of men in general around my daughter. I was raised by a mom who had went through a big trauma at the hands of her "dad" (step dad who she was raised to call dad)

    I am scared to tell my mom I am not comfortable with her calling him "grandpa", so I am seeking advice here. Am I out of line?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:50 PM on Oct. 22, 2008

  • I don't think you are out of line at all. What about coming up with a different "pet" name? My ss calls his biological grandparents "nanny and poppie" and my parents "grandma and grandpa". That is just what happened. If I were in your situation, I would feel more comfortable with a nick name instead of grandpa.
    sukinova

    Answer by sukinova at 12:55 PM on Oct. 22, 2008

  • My stepfather has been married to my mother for over 20 yrs. He is a wonderful man and has always been good to me. but, I never have and never will call him dad. My kids call him by his name, they dont call him grandpa. I always encouraged them to call him by his name and it doesnt bother him or my mom at all. I think it should be your decision and i dont blame you for feeling uncomfortable about your child calling him grandpa. I dont think you are out of line at all.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:31 PM on Oct. 22, 2008

  • Nope, I'd flat out tell her "He's not the grandpa and my little one will NOT be calling him that.". She has to respect your decision. YOU are the mother and what you say, goes! But then again, I've very blunt and honest so I don't have problem telling people how it is. I had to tell my abusive drug addicted bio mother that she will NOT have anything to do with my son when he's born. You can do it!!
    MarlyeGirl

    Answer by MarlyeGirl at 2:21 PM on Oct. 22, 2008

  • From the OP-
    I feel bad though, because my daughter will call my stepmom "Grandma"
    She and my dad have been married 15 yearsand she is a great woman, even my mom loves her, lol.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:38 PM on Oct. 22, 2008

  • me and my kids call my step dad, Papa. its not dad or grandpa. It is kinda like uncle to me. I would never call my step dad , dad or anything close to it cause hes not and never will be.
    bubblebean

    Answer by bubblebean at 4:07 PM on Oct. 22, 2008

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