Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Am I really a bad mom for doing this?

So my in-laws, whom I live with unfortunately, are saying I am a neglegant mother to my 2 1/2 yr old daughter. The reason they are saying this is because some days I have nothing planned for my daughter and I, so we stay in and I read while she plays. They are saying that I should be playing with her? Im sorry, Im a stay at home mom, so that means I care for my child 24/7, is it really so wrong for me to take a "day off" here and there to just spend my day reading while she plays alone?? They act like I never play with her, when in reality I play with her A LOT. And Im not just reading and ignoring her, she gets fed, and changed and everything. And if she asks me to play, I stop reading to play with her. They're making me feel like complete crap, but I see nothing wrong with what Im doing. Enlighten me, am I rly a bad mom for doing this?!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:16 PM on Sep. 28, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (18)
  • No, you are not a bad mom. She needs to learn to play alone and to self-entertain. You do not have to have every day scheduled.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 4:18 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • well, you're not ignoring her or anything, so I don't see a problem. it's good to let kids figure things out by themselves, too. boredom is something they're gonna have to be ok with. no one is entertained all the time, or at least, no one should be. I do the same thing with my daughter sometimes. I'll get on the computer for an hour while she plays next to me or roughhouses with the dog. like you, if she comes over with something and wants to play or be read to, I'll do that. if you're a bad mom, I am too.

    Answer by catharsis at 4:19 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • gee i must be a bad mom too, we don't go out very often, she is usually in her room playing with her toys or watching cartoons, she is fed clothed and pampers are being changed she is very happy and when she wants mommies or daddies attention she will come and get us......I dont think you are a bad mom, I would not let them get too you.

    Answer by mommylisar at 4:19 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • Ignore them, you know the truth

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 4:20 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • My 2 1/2 year old daughter PREFERS to play by herself. Mommy gets annoying sometimes lol. So I end up reading, spending too much time on the computer, etc a lot.

    No, you're not at all a bad mother. I'd like to see how they parented way back in the day... I bet they didn't play like they are saying you need to.

    Answer by Ati_13 at 4:21 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • Well, in that case, I am too. I will often times read while my daughter plays in the same room as me. Or I will do puzzle books, or something like that. I also have been known to watch game shows while she is in the room entertaining herself. She still gets fed and goes potty and things like that. My daughter will not stay in a room that I am not in, but as long as I am there, she is pretty content to just hang out.

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 4:22 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • If you read the whole entire day while she just sat there that would be wrong, if you took a little while to read and then time to play with her that isnt bad. My 2 and a half year old son wouldnt stand for me doing something without him for very long during the day he would be climbing all over me. Im more concerned about you living with your inlaws and they are saying you are being negligent. I would be finding a part time job or something so I could get out of their home.

    Answer by okmommy08 at 4:23 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • My 3yr old enjoys playing alone sometimes, if you actually look at child development children play alone first of all then alongside others then with others. You sound as tho you do things with her and she is well looked after, if they are so concerned about what you're doing then maybe they should play more with her so they know she hasn't played alone on the odd day. Good luck mama

    Answer by MeAndLo at 4:24 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • No, I am so sick of people bashing good mothers. TELL THEM TO MIND THEIR BUSINESS!

    Answer by momof3josephs at 4:34 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • No, I encourage my 1 year old to play by himself for small stretches of time, if I want to vaccuum, fold clothes, etc. I think its a good idea for them to learn to entertain themselves.

    Answer by hootie826 at 4:37 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.