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2 Bumps

What do you do....

When you are becoming very involved in your church with your children, developing a very close relationship with God, but your partner isn't joining along for the ride. Not going to church, not developing a relationship w/ God... not making it a priority... I've been going and seeing so many couples growing in their relationship and growing so close, and I envy that and I want that, my husband on the other hand... isn't interested. Advice?

Answer Question

Asked by Ihavehope9 at 4:41 PM on Sep. 28, 2010 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 5 (101 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • Don't force him to be what he doesn't want to be. Just go to church as you normally do and let him have his time to himself.

    Answer by thatgirl70 at 4:43 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • Girl, I feel you there! I'm in the exact same boat! The only thing I can say is to pray everyday for your husband. Pray that he will see God in you and desire what you have. Pray for God to shine His light through you. God can save anyone at anytime! Mabye also try The Love Dare? I'm doing that right now too. Anything's worth a shot! Hope this helps!

    Answer by mochamomof3 at 4:44 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • maybe he doesnt believe in religion...did he ever go before? maybe just ask him to go one time to see if he likes it... there are many other ways to grow close besides church

    Answer by jaksonsmommy at 4:44 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • He did go before! He grew up in a church! He's a believer, he just doesn't "feel like it".... Or doesn't wanna go unless we're going to the church he grew up in when we've already enrolled in pre-k at the church that I go to. He's agreed to go to a dinner w/ me there tomorrow night, so afterwards, i'm going to ask him to come w/ me Sunday.

    Comment by Ihavehope9 (original poster) at 4:49 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • maybe he is just afraid of changing churches...different people and ways maybe... i hope it works out for me it just sounds like he may be afraid to change churches though

    Answer by jaksonsmommy at 4:50 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • I can't answer your exact question because I don't do Church or involve my children in my religious beliefs... But, after nearly 7 years of being the only religious one in our relationship (especially since we are different religions) I can completely understand the frustration that comes with it. For me, the difficulty hasn't come in so much in us not being together on this, but in seeing myself continue to grow and seeing him stay where he is. My faith has expanded, my spirituality has grown, and my faith is stronger than ever before... His on the other hand, hasn't changed, grown or altered in any way from what I can tell. In fact I don't even know what he has faith in, if anything at this point.

    My advice to you, talk to him. But you can't push him in to this kind of thing, and you have to accept that. Talk to him, decide where you both stand and don't let his non-growth affect your want to grow and connect with your God.

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 4:52 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • He sounds supportive already. That is nice. Small steps and maybe he will see how happy you are. Support works both ways. :)

    Answer by 2tinyhineys at 4:58 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • here is the verse that comes to mind when reading your post:

    1 Peter 3:1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; 2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.

    you just be faithful to the Lord, show his love in your conversation and actions. it may take time, and it could be a long time, but as long as you stay faithful in this then you will win him to the Lord. I know a lady who started going to church, they weren't "church goers" and her husband was NOT happy when she started going. he is now a pastor of a church, with 4, now grown, daughters, who are raising their own family in church.

    Answer by armywife43 at 5:04 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • That is so encouraging armywife43 :) thank you... so much.

    Comment by Ihavehope9 (original poster) at 5:09 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • may i remind you that what you see in other couples, may not be the reality, either. don't compare yourselves to anyone else's relationship, to each other or to their religious committment.
    continue doing what you do, and grow more. perhaps your dh will see your shining example and decide to emulate it, or reach for what you have, also. you can not do this for him.
    be encouraged, OP!

    Answer by dullscissors at 5:15 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

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