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How could he?

My husband and I have been married for almost 10 years, since I was 18, and he was 30. We are now 28, and 39. We have 4 amazing boys, with a little girl (finally!!) on the way. My husband is Native American. We don't know how pure the blood is, or which tribe, since his mother dumped him in foster care when he was a few months old. He has black hair, dark tan skin, and bright green eyes. All our boys look like him. He is incredibly handsome, but also an amazing man, a loving husband and terrific father. My father has never liked him, and thats ok, he was at least always civil. Then, last night in front of our children, he verbally assaulted my husband, called him savage and devil, said he wasn't good enough for me because he wasn't white. I was shocked. Today, he calls and wants to take the boys to the zoo. I said no. My father is now angry with me, but I have to protect my kids. What if he did something to them? Am I wrong?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:45 PM on Sep. 28, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (18)
  • since he has been ablet to maintain a civilized relationship w/ ur husband even though he does not like him, maybe you can find out what happened to bring on this verbal assault. hopefully he did not mean what he said and was acting out from being stressed over something or just had a bad day

    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 4:48 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • your not wrong and u need to remind your father that your kids have your man DNA and they are not white so if he doest like your man he dont like your kids
    cnoble927

    Answer by cnoble927 at 4:48 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • You are not wrong. Your married family comes first before anyone else. Your father was out of line and IMO, I wouldn't let him have any of the kids until he can make ammends with your DH.
    He also has no right to be mad at you. He is the one who acted childlike.
    Good for you for standing up for your family!
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 4:48 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • i dont think your wrong it is messed up that he would say that to your husband. and to say that right in front of his grandkids???? what did they think?
    Glowey

    Answer by Glowey at 4:48 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • Nope - you are completely right. Pops was way outta line and you may want to let him know that he is not welcome in your home until an apology is made to the entire family
    chefronswife

    Answer by chefronswife at 4:48 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • No you aren't wrong. That was uncalled for, period, much less in front of the kids.
    hobbitswife04

    Answer by hobbitswife04 at 4:48 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • I think that not allowing your father to take your kids to the zoo so soon after he harrassed your husband is a good thin. You need to tell your father that no matter what he says its still your husband and you have been together for ten years and he can't change that. On top of that his grandson are also half native american. I would be fuming at my father! Good Luck with everything.
    MysticDolphin86

    Answer by MysticDolphin86 at 4:50 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • My dad hasn't seen my kids in over a year. Strictly because he came to my daughter's first birthday party drunk. Sorry, as a parent, it is my job to keep my kids safe and protect them as best as I can. I know I can't be there all the time, and I know that I can't protect them from every situation, but that was one I had control over. My father is welcome to see my children again, when I know he can show them the respect they deserve. I completely agree with you in this situation. Verbally assaulting their dad in front of them, for no reason other than his cultural background and bloodline, is absolutely out of line. Disrespectful and rude behavior toward your children and your husband by your family is something no one should have to put up with. Let you dad be mad. Explain to him why you are upset and why you said you don't want him with the boys right now. Give him a chance to redeem himself. But until then, be on guard.
    Mom1Stepmom1

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 4:51 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • Wow, im sorry ur dad said those horrible things to your husband, If u dnt want to let ur kids around your dad then don't ,i mean how dare he say those things to ur kids father your husband.
    gabby06

    Answer by gabby06 at 4:57 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • Un-freaking-called-for! Uh!!! But just because he had a little outburst doesn't mean hed hurt the kids. But you were right in declining the zoo invite. And tell him he can start with an apology to you ,DH and kids everyone there, esp the kids. And follow up with a smart little lecture that not everyone feels the same way about everything and eventhough it was wrong(in youreyes) you don't love grandpa any less, just don't like some of his views. And leave it open for your kids to ask ANY ? They may have. To you and grandpa.the key(I feel) to less ignorance is knowledge and communication. Good luck!
    stepho345

    Answer by stepho345 at 5:00 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

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