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Should I take my ex husband back?

He never cheated. He just was very immature and was attached to his mom's hip. He spent more time with her than me and the kids. He fell into a depression and lost his job. He never would get help. We started marriage counseling and for no reason he just stopped. 8 years have passed. We do have two children together.
He seems to have grown up. Moved out of his mother's house 4 years ago and has held a job for the last 3. We have always have been good friends just not together.

He commented the other night he misses me everyday and he has spent the last 8 years trying to make himself better for me. I was touched.
So what do I do?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:19 PM on Sep. 28, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • After 8 years? Do you love him? Maybe you could try "dating" for awhile (without the kids knowing) and see if there is any spark left. Sometimes, when you're single, the enemy you know is better than the enemy you don't, make sure you aren't settling because the relationship is comfortable.

    Answer by Scuba at 9:21 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • Thats a tough one. Are you still in love with him? Do you want to be with him? Has he slept around while you were seperated? It sounds like he has moved up for the better..But your the ultimate judge.


    Answer by tiger_tatted1 at 9:21 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • what is your heart telling you to do? i have heard a few stories of people in similar situations that made this work and very well. the thing i would worry about most is that he says he made the changes for you. unless he has a sense of himself and cares for himself it will not be healthy for you... he will transfer his attachment from mama to you... you need a partner who is strong enough to be there for you as a man and strong enough to be there for himself and not just rely on the women in his life. i hope everything works out for the best for all of you.

    Answer by figaro8895 at 9:40 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • I'd start out softly...

    Answer by mp3mom at 9:51 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • start out very slowly. eventually i hope u can ask him if he is still seeing the counselor im sure u hoped he sort out and if u can talk tohim/ her about him. it a tough situation to b in but u dont want to repeat the past. maybe he has grown up. i hope so for himself though. he should want to do it for himself. good luck

    Answer by emily1234 at 10:25 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • give the guy a chance

    Answer by Kittty_Katt at 11:17 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • I would "Date", and make sure you still love him ? ♥♥♥♥♥

    Then SLOWLY~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Go from there ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

    Answer by SissyAnn141 at 11:51 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • as long as the break up was clean and he never cheated or beat you. I would take things slow, and let him and you keep ur seperate living space as you figure things out. This will help the kids be eased back into it as well and that way they wont be so crushed if dad has to leave agian..... just some food for thought. But dont make it a habit if he messes up agian. Its best to just forget it. And dont second guess yourself, if it feels like he is slipping agian he is and you should end it then. Remember this time your dating not married its alot easier to get out then last time

    Answer by duckiesgurl at 12:11 AM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • do you love him? can you see a positive future with him? if yes to both, then I say go for it...BUT SLOWLY! do not, I repeat DO NOT go back to acting like a married couple right away. Make him WORK for it. DO NOT SLEEP WITH HIM! AGAIN, DO NOT SLEEP WITH HIM. ONE MORE TIME, DO NOT SLEEP WITH HIM! Make him court you, make him earn back the trust. Good luck!

    Answer by stressedmomma13 at 12:46 AM on Sep. 29, 2010

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