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2 Bumps

What if your Sibling.. WALKED OUT ON THEIR KIDS/HUSBAND?

What would you say?
What would you do?

I litterally just today found out that my sister, who has 3 kids.. all under 7 has walked away from them 3 days ago. She left no information, no cell number, no nothing.. Just a message on her husband's cell phone from an unlisted number that says she has "moved on with another man"


This is NOT the first time she has walked out of their lives.. actually it is officially the 3rd Time.. However it is the only time where she left no information. Her daughter is 2, her middle child Joey is 3 and Jake is gonna be 6 Tomorrow. Were not sure if she is even gonna show up to his birthday...

How do you handle this? I beleive in loving people.. Inspite of their flaws... But how can you ignore the fact that a mother can and will walk away from her own FLESH AND BLOOD

 
MAKEMYDAY101

Asked by MAKEMYDAY101 at 9:22 PM on Sep. 28, 2010 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,302 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (21)
  • My dh's mother has walked in and out of his life since he was 3. At 38 she has again walked out on him and my boys again. I just don't understand how someone can leave her children! It's so hard on the children, epecially when she comes and goes. I could not be supportive of her at all. Her behavior is so damaging to the children, they will suffer long after childhood.
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 11:31 AM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • She may be mentally unstable if you say she has done this before. It seems like some people whou aren't all there, try so hard to live the "normal" life, and have the ideal of the family unit, realize it's too much and have to leave. My bio dad did this with three women. In the long run in was better for me. I realize now I couldn't expect a man with two broken legs to run a marathon for me. Don't condone her behavior. If you speak to her tell her to get help, and that you won't be speakng with her until she does, but let her know you love her. Also, tell her what you are feeling. Be honest. You probably have an amazing amount of feelings within you right now!
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 9:39 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • that said i saw your other question about someone abandoning their children and my first thought was even though it is a really shitty thing to do if she can't be a good mother, maybe it's for the best in the long run... hopefully she will not mess with their heads by continuing to come in and out of their lives. some people don't have a maternal instinct... if you can't stomach her choice, don't deal with her - she's in your life basically by accident of family. it's not a requirement to keep her in it.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 9:36 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • Knowing my siblings I know this would not ever happen, but if it did I would cut off all communication immediately. That is completely unacceptable, and the kids are far more important than the adult is, so that is where I'd place my love and energy...in helping raise those kids and maybe give them a chance at a normal life aftr being totally abandoned.
    getrealmama

    Answer by getrealmama at 9:27 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • no thats bad. I couldn't go more than 24 hours I think without seeing my daughter. I don't care what is going on if I'm going she is coming. Never, ever, could I ever, just walk out on my daughter. I would cut off my family member if they did that to their child.
    gottalovemal

    Answer by gottalovemal at 9:30 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • My sister's friend had a huge blowout with her ex. She ran out of the house. The next day she called and he told her he was going to lawyers for abandonment of the children. The rest was history.
    mamacita69930

    Answer by mamacita69930 at 9:42 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • Could there have been things in the marriage that you werent aware of? Could she have had a sort of nervous breakdown?
    new_mom808

    Answer by new_mom808 at 9:44 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • She is likely ill, as in a mental illness. I',m bipolar with schizo affective disorder; this is common with this disease. I wouldn't judge too harshly, until you know what's going on.

    mp3mom

    Answer by mp3mom at 9:49 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • I don't know the details, but maybe she's not in her right mind. in the meantime I would do all I can to be there for my nieces and nephews and tell them all the time that it is NOT their fault.
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 9:49 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • my mum did that to us, but she had a rough time and became an alcholic, so it was good for us that she left us behind, because when we were with her, we seen way to much a kid should see and had to deal wit her and whatever boyfriend she had at the time and look after them. make sure they didn burn down the house or he didn kill her when they had a fite. it was scary. she left us with her sister. none of us knew, as far as my aunt knew her and us were just there for a visit. my mum popped out and never came back. i was 5. my sis 7 and my 4. we were happy being with our aunt, eventually she rang socail services to find her. they did and took us into foster care, which was horrible, everyday i wantd to run away. two years later, my mums other sis came and fosterd us herself. she will never forgive our mom for what happend, i find that sad cos i know how much i love my sis and i would want to understand and forgive her
    otoole

    Answer by otoole at 10:50 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

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