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3 Bumps

What would it take for you to cut off relations with a family member?

Yep.. I WANT TO KNOW.. What kinds of things would you remove someone from your life.. FOREVER.. OVER?

What kinds of behavior must they show?

Is there ever a time you would take them back.. If they changed?

 
MAKEMYDAY101

Asked by MAKEMYDAY101 at 9:25 PM on Sep. 28, 2010 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,302 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • Sexual abuse, verbal and physical abuse etc. I choose not to have contact with my brother because he is a gang member, hooked on crack, poured gasoline on himself and a police officer and tried to light them on fire. I never met him. He has attempted to contact me, but I fear he will just want money, steal from me, and could put my family and I in danger if he owed money for a drug debt or something.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 9:28 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • I cut off my grandmother. She was evil, brutal, to me growing up. I still maintained the relationship - she was blood. When my DS was 3, she screamed at him, made him cry, then tried to spank him for crying. I took him away from her and haven't spoken to her since. I could not allow the cycle of abuse to continue.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 9:28 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • I agree with the above and also I try to only surround myself with positive people who want to help me better myself and my family. My father is not like that he does not keep promises, does not make good decisions, is selfish and after a long time I decided that it would be better for myself and my children not to have him as a part of our lives. (there is more but it kinda is covered in the posts above mine) Just because someone is blood does not give them a free pass.
    Bubbie0809

    Answer by Bubbie0809 at 9:33 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • I have done this already with a brother... Had a disagreement (he doesnt take ownership of his issues), blamed me for something everyone in the family knows I did not do... But that was not the kicker, the kicker was that he mistreated my children.. You can do and say whatever to me, but to hurt my kids to get to me.... HE IS DONE...

    No I would not let him back in, cant trust him..
    sam223

    Answer by sam223 at 9:31 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • I'm probably the wrong person to ask. I have ZERO problem cutting ties with toxic people. Life is too short to surround yourself with people who suck the life out of you. So what type of people have I abjured? Takers (people who only come aorund when they want something), stealers, overmedicaters, passive-aggressivers, questionable-behaviorers (too touchy with a friend's teenage daughter), and drama-mungerers.
    karamille

    Answer by karamille at 9:33 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • anything having to do with any harm to my children or husband.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 9:38 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • I have cut off everyone in my family except my mom, dad and brother. I was sexual abused as a child/teenager by my grandfather and keep it a secret for years. He thought he would try something again when I believe i was 22 or 23 and i finally put my foot down and stood up for myself. I told him i wasnt a scared little child again. well about a year 1/2 ago i had a bit of a meltdown and talked to mom about it. next thing i knew the whole family knew about it. i became the black sheep of the family. i got threatening phone calls and you name it, it happened to me. me and my husband and 2 irls at the time packed up and moved out of state. took me 6 months to realize that he nor any of them could run me off from my birth place and friends. I dont regret one day for my mom speaking out. i now dont have to hide from my past. even writing this i feel a bit at ease. i would still do family functions and act like i was perfectly fine
    jbond83

    Answer by jbond83 at 9:57 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • but wasnt. not gonna say i dont cry anymore or hurt still. because i do. i take one day at a time. but as far as the "family" nah!! they can "pretend" to be a perfect family. i now enjoy cooking my own thanksgiving dinner and christmas. i am growing all over again.... =)
    jbond83

    Answer by jbond83 at 10:00 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • Lol...funny this question came up I was just thinking back on my life the other day and wondering if my family is really as abnormal as I have always thought they were....

    As a kid my mom had a VERY rocky relationship with her mother and sister. When I was 9 my Grandad passed away from stomach cancer and my Granny came to live with us. Both my parents worked and I would come home from school most days to have lunch with her and stuff. She was ok for a bit but then one day decided to accuse my dad of stealing some of my Grandad's fishing gear and made some unkind comments about me to my mother who promptly threw her ass out of the house (my aunt lived 2 doors down) and never spoke to her again. My Granny died without seeing any of us after she got sick. I'm pretty sure she rules at the right hand of Satan..anyways....cont'd....

    Allergic2Stupid

    Answer by Allergic2Stupid at 10:25 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • My dad has 3 brothers and a sister. His sister returned to Italy with my Nonna and Nonno when my dad was an adolescent. The oldest brother was always looking for a get rich quick without actually having to work method and found it by "hurting" his back and defrauding the company insurance and government of every penny of coverage and disability he could get. He got married and had two daughters and used to beat the tar out of my Zia Rita. She came to my dad for help one day and my dad beat the living daylights out of his older brother. They didn't speak again for VERY long time and to this day the contact is very limited. They usually only hear from him when he wants to gloat about something according to my parents. I was not allowed to invite him to my wedding..cont'd again...

    Allergic2Stupid

    Answer by Allergic2Stupid at 10:29 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

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