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When is my sex drive going to come back?

My son is almost 9months old now and I think I am putting a wedge between me and my boyfriend, Tony, because I have no desire to have sex and my boyfriend does. Is my desire to have sex gone forever? I just don't know what to do anymore and I can't tell Tony that my desire is gone because he will take it like something is wrong with him.

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Asked by dark_fae at 2:36 PM on Oct. 22, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (5)
  • It's totally normal to feel that way after you've had a baby. It takes a different amount of time to come back for everyone. It took a long time with my first, and I found that once we got back into the swing of things, I got back into it. So we started sooner with my younger ones because I found that for me if I had waited for it to come back on it's own, I don't think it would have, I had to get back into it to see what I was missing. My youngest is 2 1/2 and I am feeling normal again now, I think I have a higher sex drive than DH at this point.

    Answer by riotgrrl at 2:42 PM on Oct. 22, 2008

  • Wow, I thought I was the only one who has gone for so long without a sex drive after baby. My daughter is 9 months old too and still it hasn't returned. I wouldn't say this is normal for post-baby women, but I don't think it's too crazy either. What to do about it though? I wonder if an ob/gyn could give some suggestions. It would be kind of odd to ask though!

    Answer by theitalian3721 at 2:46 PM on Oct. 22, 2008

  • You're right it's best not to tell Tony about your desire not to have sex but pretty soon he will figure it out if he hasn't already and just didn't say anything. More than likely he will think its a problem with him because if the tables were turned you would probably think the same thing. I think the best thing for you to do is figure out why you don't wanna have sex. Is it because you just had a baby and no longer feel sexy? Are you just tired and worn out from taking care of the baby? Try to figure out why you have this undesire and maybe you can figure out how to solve this problem.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:47 PM on Oct. 22, 2008

  • You went threw a lot being pregnant and having a baby,,,your hormones are a whacked out of shape,,,Give yourself a break..Just have sex and see how it feels...


    Answer by louise2 at 3:03 PM on Oct. 22, 2008

  • i took a little over 4 years to get mine back. i had to work mentally on wanting to get it back. Try to tell yourself that you want it back. The more you want it the faster it will get here.

    Answer by bubblebean at 4:10 PM on Oct. 22, 2008

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