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8 Bumps

Should I give my baby my last name or my boyfriends?

I have been with my bf for a little over 2 years now. We have been living together for a year this october. I recently found out I'm pregnant. I'm due in February and we're having a boy. In the beginning I figured the baby would get his last name. I didn't give it that much thought because I figured we would get married after we both finished school and had good careers (we had discussed marriage earlier in the relationship and came to this conclusion). A few weeks ago I brought up marriage again. He said that he's really not big on marriage and doesn't see why it is a big deal to some. His mom has been married 6 times, so I can see why he would be a bit hesitant. However, my parents have been married for 32 years. Therefore, we have a very different view on what marriage should be. I just never expected to have a different last name then my child. I really don't know what the right choice is. Please help!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:55 PM on Sep. 28, 2010 in Baby Names

Answers (42)
  • You could always give your child both last names.

    Answer by fallnangel93 at 10:56 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • I would suggest giving the child YOUR last name.

    Answer by Fallaya at 10:57 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • I would give it my last name until we are married but it's really up to you.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 10:57 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • I would give the child the father's last name if he is going to be in the baby's life!

    Answer by xxlilmomma09 at 10:58 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • This is what I told my best friend. You aren't married to the dad and you will marry someone else. Then your last name will be differnt anyway. So just give the baby HIS last name.

    Answer by dancinintherain at 10:58 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • I would say use his last name as the middle name and your last anme as the child's last name.
    If he's not big on marriage, then he is saying he's not big on any other tradition either.

    Answer by tryin2BGOOD at 10:58 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • Really? Two vote downs on my answer for saying to give the baby's your boyfriend's last name if he is going to be involved in the child's life?! WOW! There are some ridiculous people online tonight!

    Answer by xxlilmomma09 at 11:00 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • i would probably give the baby his name

    Answer by amymartinez0214 at 11:04 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • I would give the baby the dads last name if he is going to be around, involved, and helping provide for them. If he wasn't going to be there then give the baby your last name. I am with my SO and all my kids have his last name for these reasons. I never thought twice about it. He is their dad and a good dad. Marriage is simply a piece of paper and thats like punishing him because he is not sure if he wants to marry.

    Answer by hill2 at 11:06 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • dancinintherain brings up a great point. My Husband and I were not engaged or married when I got pregnant with our son. I knew that regardless of whether or not he could be a good Husband, there was NO DOUBT in my mind that he would be a fantastic father and a big part of my son's life. We named him after 5 men on my husband's side of the family and gave him my husband's last name. Looking back, when it comes to things like history records and family trees, it much easier for future generations to trace back where they came from. The only time I can see a Mother doing that is if the Father skips out, signs over rights, or refuses to sign a birth certificate.

    Answer by jenellemarie at 11:08 PM on Sep. 28, 2010

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