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4 Bumps

Do I tell him? how? Afraid he could loose it, possibly get angry at me. adult content

I just found out I am pregnant suspicions (very familiar with my body's cycles), one test, Dr. appointment next Monday. I have been seeing this someone for o 2 months. He was burned by his last real girlfriend who tried to trap him into a relationship by getting pregnant. He has a history that has slowly been unraveling before me of drugs, dealing, strippers, anger, resentment, self-pitty. He is on probation right now, and switches between talking about running out of the country, and being responsible, including paying back child support for his 4 year old daughter who lives out of state. We had no intentions of getting pregnant, dealing with this issue for the first time. The people I had previously thought as friends are very two faced and manipulative, living alternate life styles, with incest, swinging, drugs.. I thought they were somewhat stable, they are all messes. and now am I. His family is sweet and they may help.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:10 AM on Sep. 29, 2010 in Pregnancy

Answers (12)
  • that does sound like a mess. good luck. i hope everything works out!

    Answer by jennifer588 at 12:13 AM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • Well he does not sound very stable. If he used protection they could not 'trap " him. Yes I know some women do that but he needs to be responisble for his actions.I am not sure how these friend fit inot the situation but it all sonds very bad. If it was me I'd take my baby and RUN.

    Answer by hill2 at 12:14 AM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • Unless you move to the other side of the world, he's going to find out eventually. If I were scared he was going to get violent and angry, I'd leave him a letter and go somewhere where he won't find you for a few days and have him call you when he's ready. I would say in the letter also how you are scared about his reaction and thats why you are leaving a letter. Explain everything you just explained here and hope for the best. If he wants to meet, meet him in a public place incase he does lose his temper. I'm not trying to bash, but looking at how you explained him and your friends, they seem a bit messed up and you may want to consider adoption or finding a better environment to raise you baby in. I hope all works out. Good luck.

    Answer by Sonnyswife at 12:16 AM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • His family is helping him stabilize but he has to want it. I'm afraid the news will push him over the edge, though part of his emotional problem is not being involved in his daughter's life, is tossed between giving her up and keeping custody. He has a job and has been finding extra work where he can. Has told me he doesn't ever want anymore children after what he's been through but I suspect he knew he blew his load, broke the condom deliberately.. I'm convinced he is acting tough because he's a doll around his nieces and nephew. Tells his Mom and Sisters everything. I hardly know him though, and know he's lied and tricked me on other t I think he actually tricked me!! I certainly did not want to get pregnant right now in my life, I was getting back to ballroom dance training, but it's just that, life. Scariest thing is I have experienced abdominal pain and nearly blacked out yesterday, will be visiting the hospital if again.

    Answer by freyjawire at 12:23 AM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • Do what is best for you and your child. Sounds like hollow advice but only you can really answer that. From the info you have given you know what you should do.

    Answer by Liansmommie at 12:24 AM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • In all sincerity ....wait and get the real test results first. I don't blame you for jumping to the first suspicion, but wait :). And I will be thinking you are going to rest and relax, and not worry. Not good to be anxious.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:27 AM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • First Thank you all for your swift responses. I am looking for responses from people not obsessed with believing life is a Jerry Springer episode for me. I have a great family too. Some people though I have found in recent past do live that life style and I agree leaving them in their own dust is best. I also have stable friends, and family. i appreciate the advice about the letter, and waiting, also i think after I have gone to the gyno. and confirmed, and assessed the pain and dizziness and my health. Never would want to do this though, Thought of talking with his family first to see what they suggest, though this treats him like a child, he can behave like one. saw him fake throw his laptop (toss) acting angry, saw him smiling in mirror though, because he couldn't get an internet signal.

    Answer by freyjawire at 12:31 AM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • If you are pregnant then I would make sure you tell him with other people around if he gets that mad. Plus you don't want someone with at temper like that around your baby.

    Answer by ladyambition at 12:32 AM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • Never would want to do this though, Thought of talking with his family first to see what they suggest, though this treats him like a child, he can behave like one. Any suggestions?

    Answer by freyjawire at 1:18 AM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • Follow your heart. It will not do you wrong. You know that feeling in your gut? That too. It won't do you wrong.

    Answer by stepho345 at 2:12 AM on Sep. 29, 2010

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