Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

Working moms, how do you do it? How can you work and take care of family at the same time without jeopardizing your marriage?

When I work my dh is off work and when I'm off, he works. How do we keep this marriage together. We've been married for more than 15 years and I always stayed home until one year ago that I got a job. What makes me more sad is that he doesn't say anything about this, almost as if it does not bother him and yet it bothers me like hell. I've spoken to him about my feelings and he never says anything. Please tell me how you deal with this? How does a marriage survive like this? By the way he does not complain about absolutely nothing, it's almost frustrating. I almost feel like he doesn't love me even though he says he does.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:14 AM on Sep. 29, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • That's a tough one. I only stayed home for a year and my husband knew going into the relationship that I was going to have a career and we would share the responsibility of taking care of the family. That being said, we don't work opposite schedules now (we did at one time, and it was frustrating but the more financially solvent we got, the easier it was). That can take its toll on a relationship but don't dismiss the fact that he ISN'T complaining, sounds like he is trying to be as supportive as possible because he knows how hard you are being on yourself. Hang in there, and make sure you guys keep sharing a bed;)

    Answer by stringtheory at 1:20 AM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • when you become a mother and a wife you need to learn how to balance and have a schedule...i usually work from 5am to 2pm that way i have time after work to do my things b4 the kids are out of school be able to come home cook, clean and help out with homework to spend time with my husband sleep very little to start my day off again... after some time of doing the same thing it's not that bad...

    Answer by iNk-FrEaK at 1:50 AM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • For the first several years of our marriage, DH and I both had demanding jobs. We worked 60+ hours a week and traveled quite a bit. We each had 2 children from previous marriages, "mine" are here most of the time, "his" are here 1/2 the time. We made a point to have date night once a week. We always went to bed at the same time (if we were in town). We made time for us, and our marriage was stronger for it. I'm a SAHM now (had a baby 2.5 years ago), and we continue to keep "us" as important as ever. Communication is really important.

    Answer by Scuba at 8:06 AM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • You don't live alone, so why would you try to do everything. If your children have hands and can walk while they carry something-get them working on housework. They can vaccuum and dust and load dishwashers, feed the pets. I would say,stop trying so hard to make everything perfect and get the kids working on cleaning up after themselves, and stick to a strict schedule and start saying No to things your family just doesn't have time for. If you can't change your work schedules, then I would recommend praying about them. GL

    Answer by jewjewbee at 8:09 AM on Sep. 29, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.