Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

5 Bumps

Wish he'd leave me then stay around and hate my guts...

My marriage has slipped into a terrible hole of deep emotional pain. It is absolutely terrible. For whatever reason he has decided to have a facade of caring on the outside but inside he doesn't care a bit. I feel emotionally battered and fear I am developing post tramatic stress disorder. I have flashbacks of fights. I've tried to shut down emotionally but he keeps harping on me to tell him what is wrong. So I do and within seconds he turns it on me like a bear and tells me how terrible I am. I am a stupid hollow bitch, a piece of shit, and just a regret in his eyes. The love he once felt for me seems gone. I am at a loss. I wish he'd leave me because it would be so much better if he left me then staying around and violently hating me as much as he does. I keep saying I don't understand and I don't at all. I can't believe he's turned on me when less than 2 months ago he was loving towards me. I'm so confused. I don't get it.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:24 AM on Sep. 29, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • Seek marriage counseling. A minister is a good option.

    Answer by SweetLoveofMine at 1:36 AM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • You deserve better. Kick him out if you don't want to leave. Hopefully you are not in a pickle where you have no $ and no car in which to leave. In whatever siti you are better than that. If you love him, Have you asked what the hell exactly his f-ing problem is? Honestly if you want to stay and fix you need to know what the deal is and where to pull whatever it is wedged up his ass. If no fix, write it off as a loss least you tried.

    Answer by stepho345 at 1:38 AM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • i am sorry your going threw this...sometimes men don't know what a good wife they got till they lose need to know that all those hateful and downing words he tells you are not are much better then that and you do not need to wait till he walks need to be strong and walk out on him...what his doing is abusing you and nobody in this world should live a hell...if his this way he might just get worst and your life it way too worthy...i hope and pray for the best for you...

    Answer by iNk-FrEaK at 1:40 AM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • Why the sudden change? Is he cheating? Did you say or do something unforgivable? Try to look back and see what the catalyst was or when you noticed the change. Good luck.

    Answer by BluDog at 2:18 AM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • try counseling
    if he will not go, go by yourself, or go to womans abuse center and talk to someone
    all this in a few months, in my gut, it says that he has done something that he feels guilty about and turning this guilt onto you in the form of anger
    leave if you can, have him leave if possible, you two need a break, honesty would be great, but some men can not be honest with themselves and therefore not honest with you, they pretend at times that everything is fine, then something comes to mind (their guilt) and they make you the fall guy

    good luck, sounds like he is keeping something from you if this has just all happened in last few months and not over more time than that

    Answer by fiatpax at 9:40 AM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • In all honesty, it sounds like he's cheating or cheated. And he's angry. It sounds like he is trying to make YOU leave, make you hate him so that you leave. He's trying to make you end the marriage so he isn't the bad guy. He doesn't want to be the one that ends it, so he will play these mind games with you, which is exactly what he is doing. Do not tell him what is bothering you. Do not tell him what you are thinking. Actually, next time he asks, tell him what you think is that he's cheating. See what he does, watch his facial expressions. VERY CLOSELY. That will tell you everything. Watch his lips and his eyes. Watch his hairline. For some reason their hairline goes back when they get caught, and their ears kinda go back. Their lips go thin. His breathing will change. But do not show him your emotions. Do what you have to do to keep them bottled up, let them out when he is not there. Cont

    Answer by Raine2001 at 10:17 AM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • Unless of course, you cheated, but you didn't come on here saying you did.
    There is no other reason I can think of for a man to start treating his wife like this then him cheating. Not with what you have said. If you've got more you want to share, share. Maybe he's on drugs? IDK. But it sounds like cheating. Either way, there is no reason for you to allow him to treat you this way. Sure, you can try marriage therapy. With the things you said he's saying, I doubt he will go. And if he does, he just might be asked to leave, or the therapist will say they can't help him at this time. He's got to want to work at things, it doesn't sound like he would. Don't let him do this to you anymore. You need to put a stop to it. Today.

    Answer by Raine2001 at 10:21 AM on Sep. 29, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.