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9 Bumps

Do you have a joint bank account with your SO?

My husband and I have been married for almost 3 years now and I am not on the bank account. We only have the one account so the only card we have is in his name. I have to ask him for the card to go to the store to get us food and there has even been a time that they almost wouldnt let me use the card because my name was not on it. If it wasnt for me having my military ID that has my husbands name on it I would not have been able to get the stuff I went there for. What do you guys think I should do? I have told my DH that he needs to put me on the account many times but he still has not done it. Should I bring it up again?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:37 AM on Sep. 29, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (22)
  • if he wony put you on the account I would seriously be questioning his trust and your relationship. Furthermore, I would go get my own bank account.
    SweetLoveofMine

    Answer by SweetLoveofMine at 1:42 AM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • We have always had a joint account. I would be asking a lot of questions if my husband had an account that I couldn't access.
    Leigh519121

    Answer by Leigh519121 at 2:10 AM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • We have a joint savings account and seperate checking accounts. I would bring it up again and actually make sure you explain to him so he understands. I mean, can he not trust you with money? I dont understand why he wouldnt want to. GL to you
    xxMasonsMommaxx

    Answer by xxMasonsMommaxx at 1:41 AM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • well im my home i am the one with the bank card and i manage the money 100% but it's what works best for us in my home...my husband does not mind he dont even want a bank card or anything cuz he does not pay any bill he makes money (we both make money) but when it comes to everyones needs here i take care of it...i do give him cash for the wk and like i said it works for us...but you should bring it to his attention and have him put you on the account if its what works for you guys... best luck
    iNk-FrEaK

    Answer by iNk-FrEaK at 1:45 AM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • With all these technology we have like online banking I'm sure you can open an account with your name where it links to his account, just in case he can't make it to the bank in person.
    momplus01

    Answer by momplus01 at 1:48 AM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • Has he given you any reasons why he hasn't put you on the account? Or does he just keep forgetting?

    After we decided that I stay home with our son instead of going back to work (and therefore I had no more income of my own), we decided to close my personal checking account in order to streamline. DH still has his personal checking account (which his paycheck goes into), but we have a joint checking as well. I have a debit card from that joint, but I still do have to ask/remind DH to put money into that account each month since I do pretty much all the household shopping and bill paying. That part kind of annoys me, but eh, I can view all of our accounts (investments and savings included) so things are pretty transparent.
    phoofy

    Answer by phoofy at 1:52 AM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • No way no how we are all seperate here. Easier that way.
    stepho345

    Answer by stepho345 at 2:01 AM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • totally agree with sweetloveomine
    stressedmomma13

    Answer by stressedmomma13 at 2:04 AM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • Joint checking accounts can be very similar to joint email accounts. Healthier marriages tend to have both of these as joint accounts. It is a question of trust, and security. We have gone both ways on this topic. My spouse is a spender. He REALLY likes ATM machines. When he needed to hide an addiction, he did it through the ATM. Since I could not see purchases that way, he was able to cover things up. That is until I put together all the ATM charges. So I left him as a signer, but took away the ATM card. Eventually, that ate away at our marriage. I realized I needed to find a way to trust him again, and not let him wreck our finances. These days I have several accounts. A main account, and a business account for each of us. He is a signer on the main and his business, but not mine. I am also his accountant, so I see everything anyway.

    Talk to him about your concerns, and suggest options that he could do.
    WyndenSkie

    Answer by WyndenSkie at 2:26 AM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • Um, as soon as I moved to my husband duty station.. I was put on the account but got a bunch of grief which pretty much ended with a whole of cussing... but I got my way bc my dh as much as I love him... he will spend every dime just like it is burning a hole in his pocket. Drives me insane. My MIL even still tells me today if I didn't control that - he would spend it all n then some. LOL but anyways - I am the bill payer... online account access... pretty much I know where it all goes. If he ever wants to know, he asks for me to check it online or gets out my budget book that shows the logic in my madness =]

    So, all of our friends here have joint accounts.... because it isn't just his money, its our money.
    ajc88

    Answer by ajc88 at 2:52 AM on Sep. 29, 2010

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