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3 Bumps

How can I get my husband to be the one to initiate "sexy time" instead of me having to almost always do it?

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Asked by HuntersMom25 at 10:29 AM on Sep. 29, 2010 in Relationships

Level 15 (1,979 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • The only thing you can do, is tell him that you want him to. But if he is uncomfortable with that, he won't. You are better of just accepting the fact that this is him and you cannot change him, and concentrate on the qualities about him that you do like....trying to make life "fair" only makes us miserable, in my opinion.

    Answer by Anna92464 at 10:31 AM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • Mu DH doesn't have that problem. Maybe do something subtle that turns him on?

    Show some skin or wear a short skirt or short shorts and bend alot without being obvious about it that your trying to get his attn. He'll look and get turned on. Just be coy about it as tho you werent trying to do anything.

    Answer by Zoeyis at 10:33 AM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • Some ideas are to change up what you do. For example, let him see you get into bed naked a few nights in a row. Just him knowing that it is not routine may ignite something on his part. Or after your shower do your routine in the buff instead of leaving the towel on or putting on a robe. For example if you are getting ready for bed and just took a shower, start brushing your teeth in the nude. Also you can send him sexy texts to get him inticed and thinking on that level. Basically if you change your routine he will surely notice!! Also you can try wearing something sexy bed every night without initiating. I guarantee, even though it may take a couple of nights I bet he will HAVE to act on the sexy attire sooner or later, good luck!!

    Answer by AmyLynn5398 at 10:41 AM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • just FYI... my DH says that scantily clad or just in underwear is often more sexy than nude. Just throwing that in.

    Answer by Zoeyis at 10:56 AM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • I have that same problem sometimes. My DH wants me to want him, so I've pretty much given up on him initiating much. But that's ok, he's always a willing partner. :-)
    I agree with Zoeyis (or her DH), leaving a little to the imagination is sometimes more sexy than completely naked. I have too much jiggle to brush my teeth naked and have it feel sexy. I also wouldn't recommend cooking naked, things could get burned. LMAO!

    Answer by JawgaMom1 at 11:24 AM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • I'm having the same problem, and I've tried everything that's been suggested other than wearing something sexy to bed, because even if I had something sexy to wear to bed, he wouldn't notice, trust me.
    I understand how you feel, HuntersMom. It's gets sort of depressing to ALWAYS have to be the person that initiates sex. And if you've been doing it for a decade, like I have, eventually you do get to the point where you don't feel as if you're desirable. Like, at all.
    I hope you figure this out. I'd be curious to know what, if anything, ended up working out for you.

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 11:25 AM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • Tell him that if he wants any sex, he has a time limit. If he doesn't act within that time limit, he gets nothing for two days.

    Answer by _Tam_ at 11:37 AM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • FYI, my husband has a very low sex drive as it is....and the recommendations I made are what worked for him! All men are different and wearing less for some works great and wearing nothing at all works for others! But that is the fun of it!! TRY both and see what your man likes! It was by accident that I found these things worked. When ever we would go out for a date I would take a shower and as I put on my make up and got ready I always did it in the buff! I never liked having a towel on. My husband would walk in on me and was so shocked that by the third check on to see my progress it lead to other things. Also I would go to bed in sexy things every night just to see feel good about myself. I have to admit it took three nights but by the third night he no longer could resist!

    Answer by AmyLynn5398 at 11:41 AM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • I wish I knew, mine is the same way. Let me know if anything worked for you. I have tried telling him and it may work for a week or so and then it back to the same old, same old. I wish I could feel sexy but I don't so getting ready or going to bed in the buff is out of the question.

    Answer by jnd951999 at 12:14 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

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