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2 Bumps

my baby girl

My daughter is 16. She is pregnant for the second time, and wants an abortion. She had an abortion the first time, at 15, and I supported her. I had another talk with her about contraception, about the dangers of sleeping around. I gave her a curfew, took her car and phone away, and gave her less allowance. I work full time, and go to school nights. I also have a 3 year old who needs me. I have done my best. What do I do? How do I help my daughter? I am at my wits end with her.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:49 AM on Sep. 29, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (11)
  • OMG my prayers go out to your family. I feel bad for your daughter what she must be going through. This is a hard one you would think she would have learned for her previous actions not to sleep around have you tried putting her on birth control?
    L0vingMy3Girls

    Answer by L0vingMy3Girls at 11:52 AM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • Explain why you didn't get her on BC after she got knocked up the first time? 2 abortions at 16... wow.
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 11:53 AM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • Just keep loving her. Maybe get her some counseling, if you can't afford it, talk to her school counselor, they should know where you can get help for her.

    The bottom line is that even if you do everything right, your daughter has a mind of her own, and will make her own decisions, all you can do is provide the guidance and supervision, and from there, it's up to her.

    I think this is the hardest age, mine are 18, 21 & 28, and although I haven't had to deal with this issue, we've had some rough times.

    I went to a Love and Logic class, and the Dr. who instructed said it's basically a matter of 'you can lead a horse to water but, you can't make 'em drink".

    Do your best, love her, and take care of your 3 year old and yourself.......good luck!
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 11:54 AM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • Talk, talk, talk, get her the abortion, but isn't there a 6 month patch she can get? I heard about something at my gyno that they give young girls. Good luck to you!!
    mompam

    Answer by mompam at 12:18 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • Oh my goodness, I'm sorry you and your daughter are going through this. I would consider a counseling for her if she's not already going and continue talking to her. There may be something going on with her that she's not telling you, maybe she finds the need to fill a void by having sex with her boyfriend (or even various partners) to ensure they love her. The fact that she isn't using birthcontrol is concerning as well, especially after explaining it to her. If it was my daughter and I knew she was sexual activity it would be time for full exam with the doctor and getting on some kind of birthcontrol.
    Good luck.
    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 1:21 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • I know there are some underlining issues as to why your daughter is having sex at such a young age and getting pregnant. There's really nothing you can do at this late date. She's having sex and I doubt it very seriously if she'll stop having sex and I doubt it very seriously if she'll begin on her own to take birth control pills. She's wanting to get pregnant for some reason and as her parent its up to you to find out why...
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 5:06 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • not all BC is effective, especially if it's not taken on time, with drugs/alcohol/medication etc, and some women's body reject it.

    This is why mothers need to educate more and more about other BC methods beyond plain birth control. Things like condoms on top of BC medication and watching your ovulation cycle can greatly reduce the chance of pregnancy.

    Honestly I wouldn't be happy about my daughter getting pregnant the first time. But this is here and now and you have to deal with it. I would leave the decision up to her, but make her pay her own expenses with it.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 9:30 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • What a horrible predicament. I am really not sure what I would do in your situation. (hugs)
    cleanaturalady

    Answer by cleanaturalady at 12:53 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • Yikes! At first, I'm like WTF but it's too late now.

    You and her need to have a SERIOUS talk. She cannot keep getting abortions. You both need to make a commitment to keep her from having sex. I don't care, find religion or something.

    Roadfamily6now

    Answer by Roadfamily6now at 4:43 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • I don't even know what to tell you to do. What a tough choice you both have to make. I am a firm believer in the fact that it is a woman's own choice. I am sorry you are dealing with this. Since you already had a talk with her and she is still sexually active, whatever your decision, I would be sure to put her on the pill when it is all done and said. Good luck Momma!
    Peajewel

    Answer by Peajewel at 8:28 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

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