Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

4 Bumps

No "Me Time" for me

My 4 year old daughter is my everything. That is not an exaggeration...my entire existence revolves around her. My S/N "All About Keeley" describes me to a tee. I love to spend time with her and do not enjoy my "free time" in which she is at preschool. I have never felt the need to get out of the house and have a night out and I have never missed her bedtime, let alone spent a night without her. I'm told that this is not a good thing. I'm told that I need to have other interests. That this is not "normal."

I look at it as I had my "me time" & "hubby time" in the 4 years we were together before trying to get pregnant. I had my "me time" & "hubby time" in the 8 years of fertility treatment we went through. I had my "me time" & "hubby time" in the months it took to get Keeley through adoption. I will have my "me time" & "hubby time" in the years after she moves out of the house.

Why is it so bad to have "Keeley time" now?

 
AllAboutKeeley

Asked by AllAboutKeeley at 11:54 AM on Sep. 29, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 33 (59,734 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • Listen, as long as it is working for you, and your family relationship (meaning everyone - Dh, you, AND your daugher) is happy with it, then there is no reason to change it.
    ethans_momma06

    Answer by ethans_momma06 at 12:13 AM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • I usually have to get up in the wee hours and sacrifice sleeping in to get my Me Time and thats become a habit of years now. Cuz once everyone is up, there's no peace until bedtime.
    Zoeyis

    Answer by Zoeyis at 11:56 AM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • I think its aweome you put keeley first. I personally have to have me time once a month I go out with a friends to dinner and shopping while my hubby watches the kids for me.
    L0vingMy3Girls

    Answer by L0vingMy3Girls at 11:58 AM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • I do not think that it is bad and you probably should not let others influence you as to what is "right" or "wrong" about devoting your life to your child.
    Everyone is different - My baby is also my world but I do have to work full time and do all of the other things that grown ups do - so the time I spend with her is precious. I do occasionally need an hour or two to myself but I do end up missing her terribly during that time.
    Just do what feels right to you.
    chefronswife

    Answer by chefronswife at 12:00 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • I don't get me time at all. I have 3 kids ages 2, 5 and 7. I would not mind a night out but I never want them away for extended times. I try to enjoy the time we have when they are small cause they grow so so FAST! But at times I do need me time but I still don't get it. Ihave my hands fill with 3, work and school on top of all their activites, cleaning and day to day appt! I actually only had one kid for 16mos and to me that was so nice compared to 2! I love them all but those were the days:)
    hill2

    Answer by hill2 at 12:00 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • Because if you look at marriages where the parents put the children 1st ALL the time and forgot the WE time and ME time - they are all ending in DIVORCE!!
    Look at couples whose children are heading into high school - many of them are separating and divorcing because they have no connection any longer. And they've forgotten how to be a couple and how to be a woman and man.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:02 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • it's good that you put her first. but you have to retain a sence of identity too. you are not just mom, you are your own woman. and to keep your marriage healthy it is important to have time with your husband. even if you are not worried about having "you time" you should make some time for your husband.
    jennifer588

    Answer by jennifer588 at 12:02 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • It's not bad, as long as you are totally happy with that. There are some moms, whoever, that do not have that luxury of ever having "me time" before. I became a mom at 19, I never felt like I had my "me" time. Now that the kids are both out of the house, guess what?? Daughter started having issues which made her rely on me now. With her and her two kids, I am feeling very drained. Don't get me wrong, I love them all, but just want her to have her own life.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:16 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • If your husband is on the same page, I see nothing wrong. You seem to be happy with the status quo.

    I have two daughters. The first night I spent away from my older daughter was because I was in labor with the second. It turns out that my second daughter is a very complicated baby. Full-term, three months in the NICU, all sorts of birth defects including one that required heart surgery. She now requires round-the-clock care from her parents and I'm constantly exhausted. I need the time to do things other than fulfill her medical needs because it rejuvenates me and gives me the help that I need to keep going.
    tyheamma

    Answer by tyheamma at 3:57 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • First, let me say this - if you're happy and your DD is happy and your DH is happy, who cares what others say. On the other hand, a neighbor of mine has actually signed her DD out of school early because she couldn't stand to be away from her a full school day. Her fear and sense of being lost without her child was too overwhelming. She did fine with 1/2 day K and preschool. Another friend's mom didn't have or want me-time. Her kids were everything. Then they went to college and her mom did NOT handle it well. When they got married - her mom had no idea who she really was any more or what to do with herself. She had nothing left of her because everything had been "them" for so long.

    I need "me time" because as much as my kids mean to me and as much as DH means to me - I am still *me.* I am a better mom, wife, employee, daughter, any of it, when I'm attending to all facets of me - including "me" time.
    ldmrmom

    Answer by ldmrmom at 11:50 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN