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I'm at a loss.

I've been feeling kinda unhappy with my relationship. I know there's love, but I just can't get past the use of alcohol. I feel almost like a maid at times. Someone who takes care of his child only. I have found out that he's going to a MLB game with his bro (we all live together) I just asked when, and I was told when, but not set in stone. All I said was "Okay" It turned into this huge thing about how "He more than deserves it, so they can go out and have drinks" I simply said I feel like you guys think I stop him from doing stuff. We've never been like that to each other. I stay at home with out daughter-till I can find a evening job. I get bitched at over $$, but he constantly drinks 5-6 days of the week. I tell him how I feel-I get a "whatever" I NEVER stop him from going out, but now I feel as i'm put out there as a horrible person, I just ask for help sometimes, and that's bad-cuz he works. Do I feel bad for nothin?


Asked by Chell.o_0 at 12:10 PM on Sep. 29, 2010 in Relationships

Level 18 (5,288 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • You should not feel bad, you do alot.

    Not all Men realize it until they are left to pick up the slack, they don't help enough. It sounds like he is confused and taking it the wrong way, if you can't talk to him, or write him a note.

    Write him little notes, not being mean but tell him what you need. I think you guys need you time only you and him, and he needs to realize it is ok to drink on occassion but not every night, he is a father now and a husband. His brother needs to back off, because he can cause damage with out even realizing it. I am sure he is single, or not living with his partner so he can do as he pleases, but you guys are a family make him remember that. :) Good luck!!!

    Answer by KFree907 at 12:16 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • Sounds like you need to take a look at what you want out of this relationship and if he is able to provide that for you. You cannot change him. he has to want to change himself. Are you willing to live this way for the rest of your life?

    Answer by Jademom07 at 12:13 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • He is an alcoholic. Whenever anyone puts alcohol over their family. Or makes the excuse that they deserve it, and defends it tooth and nail.

    Answer by at 12:15 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • He sounds very selfish and unconcerned about you and his child. You have nothing to feel bad about. I would be raising hell.

    Answer by chefronswife at 12:13 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • Your feelings are valid and don't let anyone make you feel like they are not. I agree that you need to take a look at what you want out of the relationship.

    Answer by knab at 12:16 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • He's almost 30 freaking years old-I just want the constant drinking to end, I used to drink-I gave that up when I got preggers, I rarely do now. I gave up stuff, why can't he? I've thought about leaving-many times. I feel like his babysitter when we're out and he drinks. When he goes to this game-the first thing I think is, he's gonna go out and drink, what's gonna happen. Who's gonna watch him? I think if he quit, this would be different.

    Comment by Chell.o_0 (original poster) at 12:17 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • I did the not thing last night- epic fail. It ended up in a huge fight.
    We do live w/his brother-he drinks a lot too.

    Comment by Chell.o_0 (original poster) at 12:20 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • you say you live with your brother in -law and he goes out with your hubby ever night for a drink ,i guess it is time you go to aa they will help you what to do how to live with some one who drinks non stop , and yes you might want to leave it will be hard at first but you can do it, you hubby best friend now is a drink ,no matter what the money he makes is not his to spend but yours and your child,it is time to put him on a budget ,pay all your bills leave some in case it rains or if your child gets sick all kids do,then at end of the month if there is anything left over he can have a drink other wise he can stay home and drink coffee ,if that is not working tell him you can always go to a lawyer and he can pay then

    Answer by dutchcanadain at 1:28 PM on Sep. 29, 2010