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2 Bumps

Any Adoptees Reunite with Your Birth Family?

If so...how was your experience?
Mine was great for about 10 years. Then I started to really see their true colors. They were VERY controlling and self centered. Expected me to treat them as my parents and show up to EVERY family activity or else...I adopted my DS & they visted when he was 2 weeks old and not agin until he was 1 (they live a 1/2 hour away). Most of this atitude is my birfather's new wife spread througout the family. She is so immature and insecure and totally not understanding of our situation. She is NOT my Mom and she hates it. My birthfather is soo snowed by her that I never talk with him. DH & I wrote them off last fall because they were so ot of control. There is 1 positive; I have 2 100% birth brothers that I am still close with.

Answer Question
 
coolchic320

Asked by coolchic320 at 1:51 PM on Sep. 29, 2010 in Adoption

Level 16 (2,992 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • If it is ok may I ask where is your birth mother?The new wife sounds like several of the women my dad married .He was married to my mom first for 14 yrs then got married often.Smart to stay away from that ,they will just drive you down and crazy.Guess I am also saying this particular behavior has little to do with being a birth parent just attention seeking drama filled behavior.Stay away is correct.

    drfink

    Answer by drfink at 3:33 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • oh, I completely agree. My Adoptive family is no drama and my mom is 1 of 9. If they can do it ANY family can. My birth Mom is around..it took her awhile to admit I was alive but she came around. We have a relatonship but are not super close but that is ok. Better than the other situation uug..

    I just wondered about other's experiences
    coolchic320

    Comment by coolchic320 (original poster) at 6:58 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • i have been reunited with my son for 4 years. We have a very close loving relationship. LOL at least that what I say, he being the adoptee might give you an entirely different answer.


    I'm sorry your birth dads wife poisoned your relationship with him but very glad you are still close with your brothers :)

    onethentwins

    Answer by onethentwins at 8:58 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • I am reunited with my birth mother. I don't know if that's the correct term for me as I've known her all my life. I've cut off contact with my adoptive family and have no interest in finding my birth father but I love my birth mother.
    flitpixie

    Answer by flitpixie at 10:46 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • Oh, no..I am sad to hear your relationhip with your adoptie family failed. But I am thrilled your relationship with your birthmom is so wonderful.
    coolchic320

    Comment by coolchic320 (original poster) at 1:55 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • We took that step this spring for my teenaged daughters. Had a meeting with their birthmother who hadn't seen them in almost 12 years. She acted like they were still 3-4 years old. Didn't want to hear anything about their lives now, just kept talking about what they were like when they were little. And then she kept calling my oldest's cellphone and saying, "Hi, it's Mommy here." My daughter told my husband about it and said "I already have a mommy, I don't need another one!" It didn't end up very well at all and I'm regretting that we ever did it.
    ceallaigh

    Answer by ceallaigh at 4:07 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • I have not yet had the chance.
    Roadfamily6now

    Answer by Roadfamily6now at 5:04 PM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • Yes, i have. Met birth mother and half-siblings for the first time about 15 years ago and birth father about 3 months ago. I lost touch with bio mother and sibs. for about 10 years and just recently got back in touch when bio mother found me on Facebook and got me back in touch with her daughters as well as finally with my birth-father. I made it clear to both of them upon meeting recently that I consider them my mother and father because they birthed me but the wonderful parents that raised me up until their deaths when I was a teenager will always be my mom and dad. They are two different things to me (IE...the mom and dad and the mother and father). Both have expressed that they respect that, I am a very open person and I tell it like it is in simple terms.
    truthteller0722

    Answer by truthteller0722 at 1:21 AM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • I myself was not adopted, but my husband was, and he did find and meet his birth parents. He now has a good relationship with his father, who did not know about him until after he was adopted, and an ok relationship with his mother. He met his younger siblings, and really loves them, and they are all very close. He is happy that he found them. However, it's put a strain on his relationship with his adoptive parents, even though he still loves them very much.
    piscesmommy123

    Answer by piscesmommy123 at 5:09 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • yea...my parents had a hard time at first but got over it after awhile..unfortunately as a parent of an adopted child you have to accept that your child will be interested where they came from. I am lucky that we have a VERY open relationship with my DS's birth family, That way I NEVER have to worry about him wondering and searching. They are already part of out lives.
    coolchic320

    Comment by coolchic320 (original poster) at 6:58 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

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