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Smoking Junkfood Grandma!

First of all let me say that I used to smoke, I quit when I was preggo with my son and then quit again when I found out that I am preggo again, but, I DID NOT smoke around my kids.
My (almost) MIL smokes in her house standing in the back door. The smoke gets in of course. When she does go outside all the way she invites the toddlers (my son is two and so is his cousin) to come out with her. My son is now saying 'I'm going to smoke a ciggarette!' and I repeatedly tell him smoking is icky and makes you sick! How do I get her to stop?!?! (We live in the MIL house so it's not like I have the option of making them come over!)
They also feed my kids JUNK (ding dongs, cream pies, cheetos....ect) every time I turn my back, even while I'm cooking dinner (for them too) or after I've said no! Grr, whats a girl to do?

Answer Question
 
CharishaRaylee

Asked by CharishaRaylee at 6:35 PM on Oct. 22, 2008 in General Parenting

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • If you're living in her house, then there really isn't much you can do. I guess you could move out.

    The smoking is definitely not cool though.
    prettyrayray

    Answer by prettyrayray at 6:49 PM on Oct. 22, 2008

  • We are in the process of moving, just waiting on water, sewer,and PUD hook ups. If I don't bring my kids in their house, even though we're next door in the MIL house, they act like I'm 'keeping the kids away from them.'
    CharishaRaylee

    Answer by CharishaRaylee at 6:54 PM on Oct. 22, 2008

  • Sounds to me like you take the risk of offending MIL while you are under her roof, so you might just have to wait until you can get your own place before you have the right to say anything without causing a big fuss or family argument. If you are strongly offended, you can go ahead and let her know what her influence is doing, but I've found most smokers to be extremely defensive about their habit and its ill effects on children when confronted. The junk food is also a sensitive subject, but you might just say something like"Oh no, Grandma, we don't want his teeth to rot out! "
    or "Oh no, Grandma, I am cooking dinner-- don't wanna ruin his appetite!." and take the snack away, which will cause the child to cry, and get you a dirty look or even comment from MIL, but if you can take the guff, go ahead and put your foot down! Theyr'e your kids, after all!!
    Aprilmorgans

    Answer by Aprilmorgans at 6:55 PM on Oct. 22, 2008

  • Their house, their rules... dont like it MOVE
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:56 PM on Oct. 22, 2008

  • Hey Anonymous, did not read that we are in the process of moving? And we are not living under the same roof as them, we are next door in their MIL house.
    CharishaRaylee

    Answer by CharishaRaylee at 7:46 PM on Oct. 22, 2008

  • although you live with you MIL, smoking in front of your kids is totally unacceptable. that is a major health risk and superceds any house rules or offending her. would you accept her leaving pills or sharp objects around the house just to not offend her? it is the same thing. i think you should have a heart to heart with your MIL and make it as non-confrtontational as possible. P.S. i smoke and have a 3 year old and I NEVER smoke around him or anyone else who doens't like it or opposes to it. smokers should understand that it is there choice to kill themselves, they shouldn't hurt anyone else with it!
    garrygirl

    Answer by garrygirl at 10:46 PM on Oct. 22, 2008

  • Thank you Garrygirl! I have tried being passive to no avail. Even my kids' dad feels that he should be able to smoke where he wants, I've even caught him picking my son up w/a cigarette in his mouth!!!! Ugghhh, all I ever get is arguements when I try to ask them to consider the kids' health.
    CharishaRaylee

    Answer by CharishaRaylee at 10:58 PM on Oct. 22, 2008

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