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3 Bumps

Dads not ready to be dads?

I've been in a relationship with my baby daddy for about 4 years. We were NOT together when I was pregnant -but close to when the baby came he thought it would be a good idea to come along. I gave it a chance-our child is almost 3. He gets way to frustrated way to easy, I guess has a short fuse. Will not just give our child a bath-has to be asked to do things like that, even put her on the potty! I can't potty train all by myself. Tries to get her to go to bed a half hour early. Drinks to much. I just don't think this is his life that he wanted. He says other wise, but I just don't believe it anymore. Do you think that he's not ready to be a dad (he's 29) or just I don't even know anymore.
Sometimes I was more happy when he wasn't around, I'm ashamed to admit that. I wanted things to work out, I just don't know anymore.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:29 PM on Sep. 29, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • My husband was like that too. He drank all the time... didn't do anything to help with our daughter... it was all about partying and his friends. I actually ended up leaving when our daughter was 2. I couldn't take it anymore... i figured that since I was already pretty much taking care of her by myself it was better if we left. Fortuantely I think that was his reality check. He came full circle now he helps with her and we even got married. He drinks alot less. I think that he didn't quite realize what it was to be a parent and it took us leaving to understand that he needed to do something. There are still a few things that he doesn't do... he won't give her a bath lol but he helps with everything else. Sometimes you have to go out on a limb and do what is best for you and hope for the best.
    justduckie_mom

    Answer by justduckie_mom at 2:39 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • You are ready to be a parent when your child is here whether you like it or not is the question.
    Why do you think you can't potty train your child on your own?
    Why would you want someone like that around your child?
    I learned this a long time ago, if you want your child raised the way you want it done, then get out there and do it. Wait for no one! Ever!
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 2:33 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • well, I got married at 16 (he was 18) and that did not work because he just wasnt in the mind set to do it! I divorced, and remarried, and now have my 5th child on the way with my DH! My DH now is a wonderful father, and he wants more children! I thinkn that if he is not doing his part, you need to give him a reality check, and leave! Make him pay child support, and maybe he will come around!
    JoLee12345

    Answer by JoLee12345 at 2:33 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • Not ready to be a dad? Tough s*it! She's here,she needs a parent,so tell him to get with the program or leave and start paying child support. 29 is old enough to have it together.
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 2:33 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • I am sorry but I think the more important question would be are YOU ready for this kind of life? I would not stay with him if you feel you are forcing him to be a dad whether he says you are or not.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 6:23 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • bump
    san78

    Answer by san78 at 6:26 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • My dh and I were 29 when we had our first. My dh went off the deep end! He absolutely wasn't prepared for the changes our baby brought. He stayed out late, was always hunting or fishing and he really had nothing to do with the baby! (Who is now 9). I also have a 3 year old and he seems to be better with him. I think men like the idea of being parents, but some just don't realize the work and change babies bring. I don't have any advice, maybe just ask him for help more, just to assist so he can see what you do each day.
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 8:39 AM on Oct. 1, 2010