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How do i deal with my in-laws who constantly want to see our son but rarely ever come to our house?

they live like 2 hours away and want to see our son all the time but rarely come up to our house but expect us to pack up and come to theirs constantly. I've asked my husband to nicely remind them that packing up, even for a day trip is more difficult for us than it is them. Not to mention, when we go they always have commentary about how long we stay...and we've tried explaining that we are trying to keep little man on a schedule, especially for naps. Help!

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HuntersMom25

Asked by HuntersMom25 at 3:16 PM on Sep. 29, 2010 in Relationships

Level 15 (1,979 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • What about meeting in the middle at a park or something like that. We do not live within driving distance of our family and I would do just about anything to see them if at all possible. We make frequent plane trips there a year so that they an see their grandkids. It would be easier for them to fly here but they do not. I think it is so important for family to be part of the kids lives that i just make due. Just be thankful that they are only a couple of hours away and not a nine hour plane ride.
    Melbornj

    Answer by Melbornj at 3:18 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • Wow. I feel for ya. My in-laws also live two hours from us. And our situation is so similar. Since our daughter was born, they always want us to go up there and have been to our house only twice that I remember. Every time we go, we have lug all this stuff w/ us and it messes up our daughter's sleep schedule so she's always crabby and clingy the next day. They don't realize how inconvenient this is.  Our only saving grace is that they rarely make plans with us.  My daughter is nearly two and has only seen her dad's side of the family about a half dozen times.  It's sad for her.  But I figure if they want to be that way, that's their problem.

    HotMama330

    Answer by HotMama330 at 3:21 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • Welcome to my world! This has been ever since I had children and its never about them coming to visit...its too much of a long drive (30 mins) and now that we just moved we are now an hour away from my dad and he was so upset because he states that he will never see his grandbabies now.... Well Im thinking you never come to see them before so whats your point! Maybe saying something to them and taking turns? Just hard to take time out for others in this fast paced world!
    lovinmy3babies

    Answer by lovinmy3babies at 3:27 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • we're in the same boat! dh's family always want us to come to them and we live 2 1/2 hours away...we used to live 45 min away, and it was ok then but i feel like they always act like it's too much of a burden to come to us....
    mom_to_kenzie

    Answer by mom_to_kenzie at 3:27 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • Look into skype or something so they can "visit" without the trip.

    My parents live two hours away. My inlaws, half an hour away. You can guess who we see more of. I insist at least once every two months we make the two hour trip to visit my side of the family. We went twice this month (I went down to help my brother with his newborn and was there for four days at the end of august, beginning sept. ) and then took another trip down this past monday so I could see my mother, who I didn't get to see while I was there before because she was working. My inlaws were like "You're going down again?" And I just wanted to say "Yeah, and we were here yesterday...maybe we should only see you once a month too..." It is very important for your child to see family. I know it's hard, and it's a long ride, but someday, your inlaws won't be there, and your child will never have another chance to visit. Take the time now, while you have it.
    BisketLiss

    Answer by BisketLiss at 3:29 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • my inlaws are like that too, they only live a half hours drive away but they have only been to my house twice since dh and i have been married (will be 5 years next week).. my mil is always like "i miss the babies" well she dosen't work so why don't she come to my house to see them,,,she expects me to come to her house and i don't even have a car right now, i just tell her "ur more than welxome to come over to see them any time" but she still dosen't
    josiesmommy00

    Answer by josiesmommy00 at 3:44 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • I would just flat out say that its not possible for us to do that all time. If they want to see him, they are more than welcome to come over, though.
    hobbitswife04

    Answer by hobbitswife04 at 3:51 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • That all depends...I have grandchildren that live 30 miles away from me but its hard for me to go visit because they have stairs to thier apartment and I cannot climb stairs. I try however to go to every function the kids have at school or to birthday parties besides their home but those times are few and far in between..kwim? I think a little compromising may help the problem...
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 4:48 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

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