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Were you or someone you know ever subjected to verbal and mental abuse as a child?

What were your experiences? How did you/they learn to cope? Was it someone you became intimately involved with?

Answer Question
 
freyjawire

Asked by freyjawire at 4:11 PM on Sep. 29, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 7 (204 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • my father was mentally/ physically and sexually abusive, i was also sexually abused by a few of my mothers bfs/ drug suppliers adn then physically abused by my ex bf.

    As a result i became a very stoney person. I am the last to show emotion or get attached to people. I have always been very uncomfortable being alone with anyone and before meeting my husband i prefered the sexual company of ladies only.
    wildwiccan83

    Answer by wildwiccan83 at 4:16 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • Yes I have. I learned to just leave the room. To not subject myself to listening to it. And I refuse to argue with anyone now. If they want to show their side of an issue they had better speak calmly to me or I'm not going to listen.
    SalemWitchChild

    Answer by SalemWitchChild at 4:17 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • I was born in the 1950's and verbal, mental, & physical abuse were common where I grew up. I was told I was fat, ugly, and nothing I did was good enough. I was actually thin, very cute, and good at many things including school. I was lucky that I had loving grandparents and I had friends that had parents from other cultures that were great to me (and despised my parents). Both my parents were alcoholics and abused drugs. Psychologist believe children with bad parents can turn out ok if they have 2 adults in their life that care about them and encourage them.

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 4:22 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • Examples of emotional child abuse include:

    Constant belittling, shaming, and humiliating a child
    Calling names and making negative comparisons to others
    Telling a child he or she is “no good," "worthless," "bad," or "a mistake."
    Frequent yelling, threatening, or bullying.
    Ignoring or rejecting a child as punishment, giving him or her the silent treatment.
    Limited physical contact with the child—no hugs, kisses, or other signs of affection.
    Exposing the child to violence or the abuse of others, whether it be the abuse of a parent, a sibling, or even a pet.

    Just for those un-aware; Bad parenting doesn't always come from Bad people.
    http://www.helpguide.org/mental/child_abuse_physical_emotional_sexual_neglect.htm
    freyjawire

    Comment by freyjawire (original poster) at 4:27 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • I was by both my parents and my brother. I was constantly told I was worthless. I was a mistake that ruined my parents marriage. Everything was always my fault and my mother let my brother beat on me constantly, as long as he did it at home so they wouldn't have the neighbors calling CPS on them.
    It was hard to deal with but, I found the best way for me was to disown them all together. Do I wish that I could have a normal relationship with my family? Sure, but I don't see it as being my fault anymore.
    mamakat13

    Answer by mamakat13 at 4:27 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • My husband was told he was a mistake, mom wanted and abortion, he's a worthless POS, and so much more. I have to let him know when he is being a door mat because he lets people take advantage of him. It used to make me cringe that he didn't even react when people were saying the most dispicable things to him in front of others! His 'friends" would dump on him, call him the retard etc. I notice as an adult he would pick these people to be friends with that treated him horrible. Almost repeating the cycle. I finally got mad for him and told him to get mad too. It's been a progress for sure. He is a lot better now, and he has finally established some personal boundaries and won't let people talk to him that way.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 4:27 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • I left home as soon as possible and supported myself through college. My sister didn't have support and she never graduated HS and has had a horrible life. I don't even know where she is. My father was such a horrible person that I wasn't sad when he died. I get a Christmas card from my mother. I haven't seen her in over 10 years, when my grandmother died.


    My children and I moved back to my hometown for my sons to go to college. The parents in that town are still worse than other places I have lived. When we first got there I went through PTSD. I would have panic attacks when I would see parents mistreating their kids.

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 4:30 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • I grew up in a home with a Dad that was verbally,and emotionally abusive.I learned at an early age that if I got nasty right back he would leave the room.That was my earliest defence mecanism.I swore that I would never treat my children like that and havn't.With out realizing it I married a man that is emotionally abusive.He is differant from my Dad and is abusive in a differant way from my Dad. He has done some damage but I was also dumb enough not to see it and allow it to happen.My Dad got help and became a better man for it. He knew the mistakes he made with us. He saw my daughter as his second chance and it showed he had learned from his mistakes. Dispite the pain he caused in the past he was a good man.My soon to be x walked out on me 4 months ago and it was the best thig that could have happened I have blossemed to say the least, My only concern now is that he is now doing it to our daughter.I am filing 4 sole custody.
    KyliesMom5

    Answer by KyliesMom5 at 4:33 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • Yes....its in the past and I have strongly overcome it and became the best mother due to my situation.
    xavcay

    Answer by xavcay at 4:38 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • Thank you all for sharing! I have recently come under the never before, physically threatening behavior of my father at 30! before I was just the family door mat and scapegoat. After being shut down at 8 yrs. old for telling my parents they were verbally and emotionally abusive i kept mostly silent. Close friends in high school I allowed in to my secret world would eventually turn on me, blaming me for being thin, pretty, athletic, smart, and would sleep with my boyfriends or exs., convince me to smoke cigarettes,drink. I worked hard at being the perfectionist eldest COA after high school until my parent's enabled my brother to a lifestyle bent on near death through drugs, and I had a breakdown. Surviving suicidal ideation as an adolescent, in college inappropriately prescribed antidepressants and other medications actually made me actively suicidal and more incapable of handling the depression I had learned was my life.
    freyjawire

    Comment by freyjawire (original poster) at 4:41 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

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