I adopted her when she was 13 months old and have been having problem with her since then. She is becoming increasingly defiant when I ask her to do something, she's always rolling her eyes and stomping up the stair. Recently in a discussion about this 22 year old grown man, she drew her fist as if she was going to hit me. I at that time asked her to leave my home. She is a senior in high school and I am becoming increasingly num as far as my feelings for her as my daughter. It hurts me to feel this was, but I don't know what to do at this point. My other adopted daughters states that I am wrong for asking her to leave, however I don't know what else to do. I don't know what she will do in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep. Please give me some advice. Thanks
Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 5:12 PM on Sep. 29, 2010
Answer by tyheamma at 5:13 PM on Sep. 29, 2010
Answer by SarahLeeMorgan at 5:13 PM on Sep. 29, 2010
Answer by Musicmom80 at 5:13 PM on Sep. 29, 2010
Answer by layh41407 at 5:13 PM on Sep. 29, 2010
Answer by mrsmom110 at 5:16 PM on Sep. 29, 2010
For one I don't know how you can get numb feelings for her even though she is being defiant. I don't think it is an adoption thing, I think that some kids go through these stages. I probably wouldn't have asked her to leave, has she been back since then? I would tell her that violence is not allowed in my house, and if I felt threatened then I would take further actions. Also, teenagers become defiant especially when there is something they want that the parent will not allow. How old is she exactly, I mean is she almost 18? If she is then you really are wasting your time, because as soon as she turns 18 she will be dating this guy anyway.
Answer by sheloveearth at 5:17 PM on Sep. 29, 2010
Answer by Mommy2Gabrielle at 5:19 PM on Sep. 29, 2010
Answer by mpeada at 5:21 PM on Sep. 29, 2010
My son is 22 and he could date a 17 year old and it not be a problem. If she dates a 19 year old he is a grown man. The person is more important than the age. If he has been in jail or has 5 kids by 5 different teens then thats different. It sounds like you and your daughter have serious problems. Maybe she feels like you have never been a mother to her. You call her the "adopted" daughter. You don't have feelings for her. If it's been this way her whole life she is going to have problems and may be looking for love anywhere she can find it. She needs to feel unconditional love from you and that she is your (real) daughter. The book How to Talk So Kids Will Listen may help.
Answer by Gailll at 5:31 PM on Sep. 29, 2010
Next question overall
Most bizzare names you have heard in real life? Unusual sib sets?