Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

ok I'm gonna ask you girls before I decide my course of action!!!

ok so when i was 2 my mom and bio father divorced, a year later my mom got with a man i now call dad, he has been my "dad" since then. So my "dad" never married but were together for about 16 years, so basically I grew up with him, he and my mom have two younger daughters together, well when i was 16 ish my "dad" left my mom to go to rehab, great for him, but left my mom with nothing, I ended up having to get a job and buy my own car, well when he got out he only came to visit my little sisters. I was really hurt by this, he would take them to the movies or out to dinner and wouldnt invite me.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:34 PM on Sep. 29, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Would this change her or you as relationship-wise with not having her get a car from dad. (her dad, but not your dad, because it' his choice to do that, ...i would confront both of them and ask why one is favored over the other. And if you aren't due to being not bio, or more 'special' in his eyes, (this hurts to type this, sorry..wow ) I'd take what he has to offer since you already have a job and it's ok, so far, I guess, but I don't see people as having or not having things that makes them more or less of anything, if it was a thing of how you fee rated in the family setting just be glad that you are alive, and have a job, and don't have to sponge off dad.
    coffeeyum

    Answer by coffeeyum at 6:18 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • You were a really important and integral part of his plan, it's like this in many families, it's not fair , so if you look around you'll see it has many parallels in this world. I am always wondering why certain people get sick and others don't, and why things are a certain way, but the more I try to figure it out, the weirder it becomes. Just be all you can to stay content and try to do things that keep you stable and happy. I wish their were some way to convince you that things aren't all they seem to be, so going into the closet and fixing it won't probably change the ways it truly happened but it may give you some consolation.
    coffeeyum

    Answer by coffeeyum at 6:23 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • cont... Anyways fast forward to now, I work with him and see him everyday, I do everything for him and he still favors my little sisters. I realize I am not his bio daughter, but its like he never treated me differently before. So I have learned to deal with this for the most part, my little sister just turned 16 and is now ready for a car however does not have a job nor any money saved up. My dad is not planning on buying her a car, I feel so I dunno if its jealousy or what. I feel like he is trying to be like super dad. Also, he had told all of us our whole life that we had to save money and the one kid who didnt gets a free car? Its not my fault I have a dead beat bio father. I didnt have a childhood because my "dad" decided to go to rehab so I had to raise my sisters and I get nothing for it. Any advice is welcome!!.. I dont care if im not anonumus
    xxSummaxx13

    Answer by xxSummaxx13 at 5:35 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • He's not buying her the car, so I don't know why you're still upset.
    Have you tired talking to him about how he treats you like he didn't even raise you
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 5:39 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • He is buying her the car though
    xxSummaxx13

    Answer by xxSummaxx13 at 5:43 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • **** shoot i meant to put he is planning on buying her a car...
    xxSummaxx13

    Answer by xxSummaxx13 at 5:45 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • i can't help but wonder if he doesn't feel that now that your older if he doesn't think that this is how you want to be treated. does this make sense? maybe he feels that since he left you and now is back in your life and you were never his real daughter and your older now that he maybe he feels he needs to step back cause he doesn't know how you feel about having left you and he doesn't know if he should still continue to be fatherly to you or not. i would either write him a letter telling him how you feel. i always write better then talking. my feelings just come out better in print. also would help you to get your feelings off your chest. i bet this is all a misunderstanding on his part. it would be a shame not to confront this. you may never know unless you tell him how you feel. i'm sure if he raised you from that young of age that he would love you very much and think of you as his own daughter.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 6:34 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • I'm sorry this is the case. I guess I'm the weirdo, but I hear so often of people who can't attach to the step kinds, they are trouble for my future kids, blah blah blah.

    before I was married a few times I dated men with kids and I had the opposite problem- I'd get so attached, and some were a real handful!
    keep your chin up, you can't change people.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:49 PM on Sep. 29, 2010