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Does this make me a bad mom?

I have 3 children, my first son is 7, my DD is 6 and my little son just turned 1.

When we're all at home I feel comfortable leaving the baby alone in the room with my older kids for short periods of time. I KNOW they are responsible enough to come to me if the baby starts crying. They know how to look after him and they're good at it!! I leave him with the other 2 kids when I cook or take a shower which has never been more than 15 minutes.

Now, a friend of mine has a 18-month-old and a 12-yr old. She never EVER leaves the baby alone with the 12-yr-old even though she's responsible. She says it's HER opinion that it's not right and SHE would feel like a bad mom if she did it. She wasn't bashing on me, it was just a discussion we had, but it got me thinking..

Answer Question
 
evie-1006

Asked by evie-1006 at 5:49 PM on Sep. 29, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 8 (222 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • No I don't think so, my son will sometimes watch my daughter who is 16 months while I take a fast shower in the morning, hes 6. Sometimes I have to when its just us.
    Tiffany237

    Answer by Tiffany237 at 5:51 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • You aren't a bad mom. Many moms who only have 1 child, leave that child alone while they shower and so forth. You have 2 other kids that can alert you if an issue arises.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 5:51 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • no....you are not a bad mom....you just trust your children more than your friend trusts hers.
    LuvMyMedic3ID

    Answer by LuvMyMedic3ID at 5:53 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • No, not at all. Some people are just more uptight and over cautious. They won't stop thinking about the baby until he/she is back in their site, so they do it for their own sanity. It's unfair of her to pass judgment on you, however. Uncool.
    SabrinaBean

    Answer by SabrinaBean at 5:54 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • No, you're sure your older kids are responsible enough to do it so I don't see what the harm is. Kids are more responsible than we give them credit for.
    My daughter once was sleeping in a room with her 5-month-old cousin and he started crying. She woke up and started patting his back. By the time my sister got in the room the baby had gone back to sleep and my DD was getting into bed.
    mygirlpaige

    Answer by mygirlpaige at 5:54 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • No , my friend does that too, she will leave her oldest in charge while she is in the other room doing something. I will be doing it too as soon as my son gets a little bit older.
    countrygirl06

    Answer by countrygirl06 at 5:55 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • I don't think you're being a bad mom, but here is a different way to think about the decisions you make --so you don't find yourself second-guessing your choices:

    If the worst of the worst happened, how would you feel about your choice?

    The reason I didn't allow my kids to babysit each other was because if something awful happened (even something that they didn't have anything to do with), I didn't want them going though their lives feeling terrible when it wasn't their responsibility for them to be put in that position in the first place.

    Chances are always excellent that nothing will happen. That still leaves you with 'how would you feel if it did' as a pretty good touchstone for good or poor judgment.
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 5:55 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • If i didn't let my 7yo dd "watch" my 3.5yo dd and 18mo ds once in awhile i would NEVER get anything done around the house! they don't ever nap at the same time and IF my ds naps while his sisters are at school i'm usually rushing to get the dishes done or do some laundry or make lunch or something. I don't think anyone is a bad mom for letting their kids play together without them right there, as long as you teach your kids how to be careful and safe around babies then there shouldn't be any problems :) (oh and baby proof your house! lol )
    DreainCO

    Answer by DreainCO at 6:04 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • No, I don't see anything wrong with what you're doing.
    Rnurse

    Answer by Rnurse at 6:17 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • I have a 7, 4, 3, and 1 year old, I allow my 1 year old (18 mts) to play upstairs with her sisters and brotherm but mind you I listen on monitor, and I check every 15 minutes... BUT I dont think that I would leave the baby with them while I was in dispose, such as a shower, or outside...etc! I just wouldnt be comfortable with it, but you are NOT a bad mom! You are just more trusting!
    JoLee12345

    Answer by JoLee12345 at 6:18 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

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