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3 Bumps

what to do?

my fil is in the va hospital dying. i know thats sounds harsh but thats the whole deal, he's around 80 been in the war has skin cancer and another type i can't remember. here's the question do i tell me girls now or do i wait? they know all about death. they know grandpa's not doing so hot. hasn't for a bout two years. but do get them worried about it or just wait until it happens? i need advice please.


Asked by noel1978 at 6:03 PM on Sep. 29, 2010 in Health

Level 24 (20,417 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • Not sure how old your children are, but they know g-pa is sick & in the hospital. How about having them make him pictures & cards. Share stories w/ them about his life. Go for a visit if possible. Or at least a phone call. Since none of knows just when "that time" will come, dont tell them any more than you have already. Sorry for your ordeal.

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 6:06 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • I believe in full disclosure. Depending on their age explain things the best you can. My children have always counted on me telling them everything and that way they never have to worry they don't know what's going on. Even as they have gotten older they know I will call them at work or go and find them and tell them if anything important is wrong.


    Answer by Gailll at 6:09 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • I would wait. You never know he might pull through and live for another few months or so. Know what I mean....then they would be asking and you would have to explain all over again.

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 6:06 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • if they have given him an estimated time to live i would warn them and maybe make a visit. of course it depends on the age of your kids too.

    Answer by jennifer588 at 6:06 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • Tell them now. Kids are nowhere near as weirded out by death as adults --they don't read all the meaning into it, they don't really even understand 'forever', and it's easier to accept something people have been talking about for months than something that happens suddenly.

    Answer by LindaClement at 6:07 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • I would wait. It would be hard to explain to him why he's dying to someone that young

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 6:08 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • Well, since he has been ill for a long time it is a long process. Keep them informed that he is not doing well so they will not be suhocked when he finally passes. My condolences.

    Answer by elizabr at 6:42 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • I am with Eliza. I would tell them. You are Mom and they look up to you ;)
    If it was me, I would tell my kids. I would do it alone with them.
    Now, if he wants to tell them then by all means.

    Answer by CandyHorse at 6:42 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • bumpHere's a bump for ya honey!!


    Answer by bvannkissy at 8:02 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • I would wait

    Answer by LiLJeni at 3:20 AM on Sep. 30, 2010