Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

How best to tell him? (touchy subject)

I just found out I am pregnant!! My suspicions (very familiar with my body's cycles), a dream, 2 tests positive, Dr. appointment next Monday. We have been seeing eachother for only 2 months. He was burned by his last real girlfriend who tried to trap him into a marriage by getting pregnant. He has a history that has slowly been unraveling before me filled with anger, resentment, self-pitty. He is on probation right now, living with his mother, working part time and odd jobs, and switches between talking about fleeing out of the country, and being responsible paying back child support for his 4 year old daughter who lives out of state. His family is sweet and seems much more stable then he has been, my family is hit and miss, were verbally and emotionally abusive to me and my brother. We had no intentions of getting pregnant. I'm dealing with pregnancy for the first time of 15 years of being sexually active! Any advice?


Asked by Anonymous at 6:12 PM on Sep. 29, 2010 in Pregnancy

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • about all that I can type right now.

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 6:14 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • Oh my.... That sounds like an EXTREMELY bad set of circumstances to be dealing with a pregnancy. First off, he really doesn't sound like he's ready, willing, OR able to be a daddy, so I think you should assume right from the bat that you will be going through this alone. Maybe you'll be pleasantly surprised, but from what you've said here, I doubt it. Second, it really doesn't sound like you have any family to fall back on, either.

    I don't know what to tell you. You don't mention how old you are, or if you have a stable job/income/place to stay, etc. It just sounds like a bad situation all the way around, but nobody can really predict the outcome...

    Answer by Anouck at 6:16 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • I don't believe in abortion. If I did, I would in your shoes. For me personally, I would have to give the child up. This guy is A+ loser material and a lifetime of hurt and pain. I'm sorry I can't answer something more positive.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:18 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • I saw this post earlier today. Is this a repost?

    FWIW, are you self supporting? Do you have insurance and money to provide for a child? Do you work? I would consider all of my options, if I were you, and get some guidance counseling- this does not seem like an ideal situation. GL

    Answer by Sisteract at 6:18 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • Since you said you have been sexually active for 15 years I will assume you are in your late 20's-early 30's.

    Personally I would wait a couple of months and see where the relationship is at that point. By now I assume you should be able to support yourself and the child if he decides to run for the hills.

    Good luck!

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 6:18 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • Wow! I feel for you. You need to concentrate on how YOU feel about this. If you want this baby, then you need to take care of yourself & your baby. I dont think I'd count on him to be real supportive. Sounds like he has a lot of "issues" of his own. It's a shame that your family cant be a better source of support for you. You will need to surround youself w/ some positive people for you and your child's sake. Check your local paper for meetings of single moms. Church is another great place to find love & acceptance. Good luck.

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 6:22 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • hmm.... all you can do is tell him.... tell him your not trying to trap him and your keeping the baby... It sounds like he isn't such a great man so I wouldn't expect much help... hopefully you have some friends to help you through through this... GL!

    Answer by June_Mama09 at 6:32 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • i would just flat out tell him it was the easiest thing to do for me.

    Answer by babygirl581 at 8:03 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • i would use a hypothtical or the old i have a friend thing. and see what he says. i just told when i got pregnant with my daughter. he did not react well and he kept on telling me i couldn;t do it and i should abort. i thank god everyday i never listened to what he said. i say wait until after your appointment. but then again during the first appointment the dr usually makes you fill out alot of medical about the father. its ok to write n/a or something but its also good to know these things. i did not see the father of my daughter for 9months of my pregnancy and looking back on it was very lonely but i had fantastic friends and family. i know you said you didn;t have much family support but i hope you have friends to support you or find a local support group. good luck. not the ideal situation but you know what neither was alot of people including myself and i am better and stronger for it though. you are strong.

    Answer by lambdarose at 8:24 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • i think with that guy i would have made sure i didn't get pregnant, but if you weren't using birth control you meant to (imo). i think if you were using bc you should give the baby up or have an abortion bc you weren't trying and don't really need the hassle of a man who doesn't want to take care of the one he has. i hope everything works out though.

    Answer by angevil53 at 6:46 PM on Sep. 29, 2010