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All of our son's grandparents live in the same town as us - is it always necessary to make sure that none of them get "more time" than the others?

My son has three sets of grandparents that live within 10 miles of us. We're about to leave him alone for the first time (we'll be gone a week) and all three sets of grandparents expect to have him split between their houses equally. I think it will be unsettling for a 15 month old to move between three houses over the course of one week while being separated from his parents for the first time, and would like him to stay at the same location for the whole week. Who is right - me or the grandparents? Should I do something that I'm not comfortable with because they think it's the only "fair" way to handle the situation?

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Asked by Anonymous at 3:11 PM on Jul. 2, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • You know you child the best...and if they all want him that much whats wrong with them taking him on a different week, even if you and hubby will be home???

    Answer by SAHMinIL at 3:16 PM on Jul. 2, 2008

  • I personally don't believe in an "even steven" situation. It's too much trouble and it isn't necessary. Each set of grandparents will want time and you will want time with them. I do make sure there isn't a vast difference in time. I wouldn't invite one set of grandparents to dinner once a week and never ask the other set to come. If anyone complains, I just ask, "when would you like to do so and so". If they are just ragging they will hem and haw and I will ignore it.

    Answer by manna1qd at 3:41 PM on Jul. 2, 2008

  • Sorry, I missed the point. He is your child. Pick one place you are comfortable with and do it out of a hat if you have to. Let them know you will rotate visits in the future if they come up and it works out. Avoid allowing them to manipulate you. You can let the ones who got the short stick an overnight in the near future. WooHoo! Lot's of alone time with hubby!

    Answer by manna1qd at 3:43 PM on Jul. 2, 2008

  • hey they want your kids for a week just let each set of grandparents get their own week one GP for vacation and when you come back wait a week and then GPs# 2 get their week then when they come home wait a week then GPs#3 get their week

    Answer by jaes347 at 4:07 PM on Jul. 2, 2008

  • I think it's up to you! If you want him to stay at "A", then "B" and "C" can either come over and visit... or they can have him next time you go out of town.

    Answer by crazysocks830 at 4:50 PM on Jul. 2, 2008

  • Girl, I totally understand! If one set of grandparents gets a certain amount of time, the other thinks they should too. I'm with you on this one.....too much moving is going to be way tooo much for the 15 month old. I personnaly would choose the one he is most comfortable with (this is probably the one he sees most often). I would just tell the other two sets that he is more comfortable at that location and you want to make his stay away from you as easy as possible. Tell them, you would be happy to let them watch him when you and your husband go out for short spells at another time (you know, like date nights or movies...not necessarily week long trips). (This way he can get more comfortable with the other two sets, and possibly let them keep him if you go out of town in the future.) Right now, you have to do what is best for him. They are grown adults that should understand you are only doing what is best for your child. They'll get over it. Best of luck!

    Answer by MomOfMany78 at 4:54 PM on Jul. 2, 2008

  • Why couldn't the other two visit whomever has him the first week. Take turns at different times not the same week. That's just silly for them to even ask. Would they have done the same with their children? I think not. If the one gets overwhelmed while he was there then I would say set something up otherwise no. Good luck with that one.

    Answer by FLHippyMom at 9:02 PM on Jul. 2, 2008

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