Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

How to start a D/s relationship? adult content

My BF and I have decided that we want to turn our relationship into a D/s one. He is very dominant by nature and I am very submissive. For example even before we decided this I did everything for him and he never had to lift a finger while he was home. He came to me and told me he wanted full control over me and I admitted I had been wanting to try this but never wanted to sound silly. He has explained (sort of) what he wants as a Dom he wants the ability to fully control everything about me, but that doesnt mean he will or wants to. I trust him and know it wont cross the line into abuse, and if it did he would draw the line. I am the one doing most research. I know he needs to train me, but I dont want to come to him and tell him this and make myself sound like a dog, he has respect for me and would look at me like I was crazy. So how do I tell him he needs to train me? And talk to him about punish

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:26 PM on Sep. 29, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • I would pick up a few books on the subject.
    I would do a little porn on the subject.
    You could make a little dom 'chart' and explain it? lol
    I would vote books and/or porn.
    If you got the gear, get a swing!

    Answer by CandyHorse at 11:31 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • Not sure what your talking about?

    Answer by mymestey at 11:34 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • I'm sorry but I do not agree about the guy has to train his girl to do exactly what he wants. Its a two way street with no punishment. Its sounds sooo wrong right now. My ex husband never had to train me to do what he wanted me to do for him and vice versa. My ex completely trusted me no matter what and we shared the house chores and everything and when it came to have our personal time together he would ask me what position do I want or he would surpise me. If I ever meet a guy like that in my life I would seriously drop him and find a guy that would be equal to me as well for my son. No guys is not going to tell me who, when, what, why, or how do things for him that is sooo wrong.

    Answer by andmaef28 at 11:37 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • There are a lot of websites and books out there that can help you. I had a guy who was into BDSM but I could not get onto that level because I could not allow myself to be controlled by someone who was then over 4,000 miles away. Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns is a good book for beginners. You can find people online who are into the BDSM scene and there are groups on here as well to get you started.

    Answer by Izsarejman at 11:53 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • Seriously, that's messed up.

    Answer by FroggyFeet at 12:30 AM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • I'm not sure how you could research other that google about it. There is a woman I know of on here who is into those kinds of things. If you want her name, just pm me. Now, I am personally into BDSM. I am into bondage, submission, and masochism. I don't go very far into the submissive part but it all depends on your definition of submissive is. You could start by going to and they have a pretty good article on the subject.

    Answer by mrsjksimmons at 8:52 AM on Sep. 30, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.