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5 Bumps

How long to emotionally recover from an abortion?

I wanted a baby very badly. My partner and I actually tried. But after a while, he had asked me to terminate because of complications in his life. I was stupid enough to do as he asked. He said that he would always love me, if not physically, by spirit. Now he doesn't even respond to me. When I noticed that he tried to not encounter me when he took a different door out, to avoid me (we both work at the same place, him - computer, myself - finance). The abortion has happened a little over a year ago. I stalked him last night (for the first time) because I'm thinking that he just changed his mind while I had to undergo a very sad decision.

We work at the same place and I really need to get my head together. How can I self-help myself to get rid of these feelings of rejection? This has been the only abortion I have ever had and feel terrible about it. How do I get over my feeling for him?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:51 PM on Sep. 29, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • First, I would be looking for a different job. Next, I would find a local support group that deals with abortion or loses. If you can't find one then I would consider going to a counselor to help you deal with these emotions.


    Answer by JeremysMom at 11:53 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • Have you been to a counselor? Because you NEED to go. It will take long as it takes, but that will be longer if you don't get help. No one can put a timeline on emotional pain.

    Answer by gdiamante at 11:56 PM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • I would seek counseling. I think YOU NEED it. :) Good luck!

    Answer by Mom2Just1 at 12:10 AM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • It will be harder to get past it if you have to see him everyday at work. If you can't leave your job then get counseling but they will most likely tell you to find another job because it will be a constant reminder just being near him. Time does heal wounds and it does get better and easier but you won't ever forget and will always have it somewhere at the back of your mind. I know because I had one twenty years ago and although I have had children I still wonder what if.

    Answer by Congenial at 12:43 AM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • Consuling or a new job.

    Answer by soccerfanatic14 at 1:46 AM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • he is an ass. that's just.. that. stay away, quit stalking (i know it's hard lol i really do) and find new work if possible.
    abortion can be very emotionally damaging. i had one seven years ago because it was absolutely necessary: i was a teenager in love with a dirtbag who was sitting in county jail when i found out i was pregnant. i had no home and no education. i am very pro-choice and i don't regret my decision. it will never go away, but you don't have to live your life in guilt... we make choices and we do the best we can. i am now a wonderful single mother to a two year old, and i feel my baby and i waited for each other til the time was right.
    please find someone to talk to, a counselor or anyone here on cm. believe you will get past this. a lot of it has to do with him and with having to go through this alone. i know.

    Answer by shilohsmama425 at 7:43 AM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • Get a new job will be the start to recover. Find a local support group to help you in the meantime.

    Answer by jshimmy at 9:35 AM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • A lifetime

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:39 AM on Sep. 30, 2010

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