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I need Adive on a child Custody Battle

I am 18, my Daughter Faith is 14months. He dad is 17, and we are going to court in a few months over custody. I couldn't stand the thought her Faith being over there. His dad smokes in the house, and WONT ever not smoke just becasue she is there, his mom is sort of like the moms you see on lifetime that want to steal peoples babies. His sister is married to a child molester who JUST got out of prison, and they stay over there every weekend. And they have 5 animals and Faith is allergic. In court, I know he could easily say, his sisters husband doesn't come over anymore, his dad sgrees not to smoke in the house, and the animals will be kept "away" from her, and ect. I don't know what to do. I want to protect her form all of that, but I can't find a way...

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Asked by shadysyrup313 at 12:55 AM on Oct. 23, 2008 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (15)
  • I would talk to an attorney, at least most of the moms on here aren't going to have the law expertise that you need to protect your child. Does he was custody, or just visitation? Can you arrange to meet him other places for visitation? Well good luck.

    Answer by toriandgrace at 1:00 AM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • It's mostly his mother controlling him. I can't do anything about that.
    I can't get a lawyer [$$$$]
    I have to wait untill my parents decide if they will get one for me or not. He wants whatever his mom wants, and I'm sure its custody. I know he wont get that. But I don't want him to have her on the weekends. I would let him see her whenever as long as It was with me or someone else I trust and away form his house.

    Answer by shadysyrup313 at 1:07 AM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • Unless he can prove your daughter would be in danger with you or otherwise better off with him, it's highly unlikely he'll get custody, especially considering he is a minor and you are not. He would have to prove that your daghter's quality of life would greatly improve by her living with him.

    Answer by mamapotter at 1:12 AM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • honestly, I don't think the court will award the child to him, he's still a minor where as you are technically an adult.

    I can say that just because he smokes, that's not a means of deciding placement of a child.

    you do have the fact that you are the mother on your side.

    definitely contact a lawyer, they will be able to help you the most with this. That's what they get paid to do...

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:16 AM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • [He doesn't smoke, his dad does. And she has astham, and smoking around a baby is NOT good either way.]

    Answer by shadysyrup313 at 1:21 AM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • "asthma" -sorry I'm typing to fast tonight

    Answer by shadysyrup313 at 1:21 AM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • sorry sweetie, misread that part. :)

    but still, smoking is not a reason to label someone as a bad parent (or a bad home) I know you think it's awful and it's harmful to your child with asthma but like you said, they'll just say he smokes outside.

    and honestly, I have never heard of a 17 year old father actually wanting custody of their child. I'm sure there are a few out there, but mostly that's not what they want to do at that age, they are more into the acts that got them in this situation.

    definitely show proof that the family is associated with a known sex offender though. IMO that's your "ace in the hole"

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:29 AM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • wow thats crazy because im going through something like what your going through, but i still live with him (my son father) im not happy with him for many reasons but i wont go cuz i hate his family. there are all crazy with many little bad ass kids, his mother drinks and smokes (weed) even around her grandaughter who's only 3yrs old and her own kids (ages from 8,10,13 and a15yrs old) so what would make my son different and theres too many people in and out her house, its like something out of this world and i couldnt live with myself if my son spend some weekends over there with her, even if my son father was there at the same time..
    good luck i really hope everything turns out well esecially for your baby sake

    Answer by parkslope at 1:31 AM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • Are you seeing a family facilitator, if not, go talk to one, they are free. Tell them you will not agree to joint custody because of all the things you mentioned, and write them down so they can see all the reasons on paper. Take a witness with you, because they have to believe you, and most of them want both parents side of the story, and he will probably lie.

    Answer by nanaevelyn at 1:32 AM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • document every time you witness something that you think is a danger, have it written down with dates and details, and bring it to court, and if you could, record your conversations you have with your ex

    Answer by Jade89 at 1:46 AM on Oct. 23, 2008

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