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3 Bumps

Why Does the Husband tell the Wife what she can/can't do?

I listened to a husband tell his wife she couldn't go somewhere with her friend. Later, I watched a husband tell his wife she had to put an item back on the shelf. Then my caregiver proceeded to tell my her BOYFRIEND that she's had a child with, lived with for four years, makes her pay rent in the house they live in. The house is in his moms & his name as well as a checking account. But he has his name on her checking account and uses her money (she can't use his) He makes her pay half of the bills even his own credit cards and cell phone. He makes her stay home while he goes out with his buddys drinking.
I just don't get it. I've seen women up in there seventies afraid to stay gone too long because their husbands will be mad or they have to leave to fix them dinner. What? their arms broken? Come on Women. Where does it say we're slaves? How are you being treated? and Why?

Answer Question

Asked by Prayerpartner at 5:50 AM on Sep. 30, 2010 in Relationships

Level 20 (10,072 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • Some women allow it to happen. I would look at my DH really funny if he TOLD me I HAD to do anything, PERIOD.

    Answer by louise2 at 5:56 AM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • Some women let it happen and think it is what they deserve

    Answer by LiLJeni at 6:02 AM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • Doesn't work in my house. I would assume the women are afraid, insecure or have been raised that way.

    Answer by SophiaofLight at 6:08 AM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • My husband wouldn't dream of treating me that way. We're a team... what we do for each other we do out of love, not obligation or because we're "told" to. He's never told me to do anything, ever. Or told me I couldn't do something.

    Answer by mamapaparazzi at 6:09 AM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • I was actually raised that I was to try hard to please my husband. My first marriage ended in divorce as I was MISERABLE and he was an abusive jerk.
    I changed my attitude and I am now happily remarried to a man who KNOWS I am NOT on this earth to serve him.
    My mom doesn't get it. She keeps saying things like "Well, what does your husband think?" or "How does he feel about that?" and "He doesn't mind that you do that?"

    Answer by layh41407 at 6:50 AM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • Hey layh4107. If I were your Mom, I'd tell you how proud I was of you. You've come a long way and have become a very wise woman! Be proud of who you are and rest in the knowledge that this marrage is healthy and for sure going to last!

    Comment by Prayerpartner (original poster) at 6:54 AM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • My hubby has a friend, who's male & Is one of those kind of guys.... Well he asked my hubby why couldn't he control his women after I stole the remote back to change it back to what us women were watching at another friends house. (He just came in & changed the channel & his poor wife didn't even speak up, & Then put the remote in his shirt pocket so no one would touch it... Or so he thought.) My hubby (we were dating at the time) Look at his life long friend & said "Dude she's her own person. I do not control her, She does what she wants when she wants.... & Ive seen what happens when someone tells her not to do something."

    =) We've been together for 6 years, almost 7 now...& He does not treat me like that. Nor I him... We discuss what we dont want the other to do & give reasons.... we treat each other with respect... (most of the time =) LOL We still have our fights) Cont.

    Answer by lilmoosesmom at 7:18 AM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • I was raised in that kind of home, where the women should bow down to the man, have his dinner ready at a certain time, his coffee fixed just the way he likes it before he even gets up int he morning. & my mother passed the buck to me. & I swore I would be no mans slave or maid...


    Answer by lilmoosesmom at 7:20 AM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • I agree that most women are either too afraid to speak up or they have been trained not to, whether by that man or by their own mother. my mom made sure to teach me not to let anyone walk all over me, so unless his ass is sick, he can do things for himself!!! My SO is not like that at all, he always wants to hang out with friends, but he does try to get me to go out and do things on my own also. He wants to also contribute to the house (im a sahm) even if its something small like giving the kids a bath just to lend a hand is nice for him.

    Answer by secondtyme520 at 7:34 AM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • I think they're either afraid or were raised that way. SO wouldn't dream of fixing his mouth to tell me what to do. We are a team, I am his equal.

    Answer by reigndrops12689 at 7:51 AM on Sep. 30, 2010

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