Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

would you tell your child if they were unplanned?

..of course if they were old enough. would you tell the truth or make them think they were wanted all along? It doesnt matter how loved and wanted they are today..we all love our kids but not everyone "planned" them.

Answer Question
 
shay1130

Asked by shay1130 at 8:36 AM on Sep. 30, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 27 (32,809 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • My son knows...I was 19 and not married and he never met his dad. It didn't take much to realize he was a happy accident. LOL I told him he caused my stretch marks and he told e that if only I had used birth control and not had sex with a random guy...I wouldn't have those stretch marks. Mean kid..LOL
    BradenIsMySon

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 8:39 AM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • I was honest with my DD. I told her that we didn't intend to get pregnant, but we did & that it was the best thing that ever happened in my life. She was cool with it. I can't lie to her. She asked me straight up why i decided to have a child & i told her the truth, that we didn't decide...that it just happened.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 8:40 AM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • I would tell them that they were not planned but I would tell them that God had a different plan and that is always better that mine.
    jtmommyN

    Answer by jtmommyN at 8:40 AM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • no, not like that
    IF they asked i would say that they were a surprise
    a wonderful surprise gift from God
    i was 42 and not thinking it was going to happen for me

    when pregnant and when she was tiny baby, i was asked by two different women this "was she planned"
    and it was NOT from close friends
    i was shocked and quite pissed off
    i said said, it was Gods plan= that shut them up

    and do not know exact number but more than half of all children were surprises
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 8:43 AM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • I was 16 when I had my oldest. She already can do the math; she'll figure it out. I wouldn't tell her though.
    keisha613

    Answer by keisha613 at 8:47 AM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • I am pretty sure that I wouldn't tell them unless they asked directly. I wouldn't volunteer the information. It would be hurtful. If they asked, then I'd tell them that they were a wonderful surprise.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 8:48 AM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • My oldest and my current youngest were not planned, though my daughter was wanted from the start. I think my son will figure it out for himself, so I will tell him when he's older, that he wasn't planned. I was raped, and I have no idea who his father is, so it's something that I think he can deduce for himself. But since I don't want him to figure it out on his own, I'm going to tell him.
    piscesmommy123

    Answer by piscesmommy123 at 8:52 AM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • My dh was called a leaky rubber to his face all through his childhood. His parents wonder why he has no relationship with them. Now if you were to tell them respectfully then why not.
    countryspun

    Answer by countryspun at 8:55 AM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • My son was unplanned, but half expected...you have to know when you're not using protection that you can get pregnant....when I found out, I was ecstatic. Unplanned, but very much loved and wanted. Same with my second....only...that was a failure of protective measures.. unplanned, but very much loved, and desperately wanted by mum..:P I wanted a second baby...we just can't really afford two right now.
    BisketLiss

    Answer by BisketLiss at 8:59 AM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • Not planning doesn't necessarily mean unwanted, but I would never say anything that would make them doubt that they are and always were wanted and loved. How many children actually ARE planned? If all of us were to wait until we were "ready" to have children, we might be too old to have them. If my kids were to ask me (and if I didn't plan to have them), I'd tell them that I never expected to be so blessed to have them in my life.
    CCMOMCA

    Answer by CCMOMCA at 9:01 AM on Sep. 30, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN