Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

Hubby doesn't keep a stable job

My DH has a on-off relationship with gainfull employment. He used to be jobless for months at a time. I've managed to sort that out. Now he's not without a job for more than a day or two. My problem is that he's constantly changing jobs still. We have a 6 month old and the instability is killing me. I've had the same job for years. Am I expecting too much from him? Would you consider divorce?


Asked by CassyzMom at 9:21 AM on Sep. 30, 2010 in Relationships

Level 17 (4,127 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • The job problem is probably an consequence of another problem. he needs alcohol treatment or anger management. He prob doesnt know how to handle stress.

    Answer by ria7 at 10:47 AM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • does he say why he cannot commit to one job?

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 9:27 AM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • I'm sorry, that must very hard to deal with. I don't think it's expecting too much from him to provide stability for your family. As for a divorce, I can't answer that for you. You have to do what is right for you and your child. I wish I had some advice for you :(

    Answer by toobigfrogs at 9:28 AM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • I would give him an ultimatum and if he can't step up to the plate then i would think at least about a separation til he grows up some.

    Answer by sashahinson at 9:28 AM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • You need to realize YOU are the stability in the family. Have you discussed this with him?

    Answer by countryspun at 9:30 AM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • i agree with toobigfrogs. what happens at his jobs?

    Answer by ria7 at 9:31 AM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • You can't fix him, is he trying to collect for disability? Sometimes it is to the degree where it's a ton of underlying symptoms and a person isn't able to directly take orders for too long, as it overwhelms them making them feel more insecure. Don't base your security upon the reaction of his employers. He has to base his security upon knowing anything he does is ok. As long as he has made some type of effort. TOO MANY employers are stuck on stupid for keeping the company rich. They don't care about how your hubs is one day, or not the next. Hubs will need to see he isn't capable to hole on to work for a true blue period of time, drop his credit completely and before he goes too hard into this make sure he has a safety net of income from disability even if it means mental dis. He can show up for appointments for counseling, ....just tell him when they give him meds to try a few out, and '"MAYBE" one will work for hi

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:37 AM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • By the way all this I say is not for you to take on, he has to do that. right down to the appointments. He agrees to do this, that's it. Or you will not be there. Ultimatums are not a contract. So be aware, he can and will try to tell you>>>{{{ you're a know it all, or who the hell are you to tell me to go to counseling,}}} ......That sort..

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:39 AM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • Virginiamama, he normally fights with someone there and storms out. Or he doesn't go to work because he's hungover

    Comment by CassyzMom (original poster) at 10:11 AM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • Honestly, I wouldn't have considered marriage to a man that couldn't hold a job...but since you have, the best you can do for him and maybe even yourself is to stick with him and continue to encourage him to stand up and be a responsible man... afterall, you sorted it out for him to atleast hold a job for a day or two, seems like you could help him to be a better man...

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 12:46 PM on Sep. 30, 2010